My Mom will not take advantage of hospice that is available to her free of charge. Any advice?

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My dad has alzheimers and my mom is eligible for respite thru hospice. She can get 30 days a year. But will not take advantage. She can take five days or 10 days at a time. When she says things are working good.....they are not. My sister and I are beat from having full time jobs, families of our own and alternating evenings going directly from work and helping to get dad in bed. Sometimes not getting home until 10:00. I don't want her to think we don't want to help. But we need an extended break.

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Is Mom or Dad actually enrolled in hospice? If they are hospice should be able to provide an aide at least some evenings a week to help with bedtime. Respite care is usually provided in an inpatient hospital setting for five weekdays under Medicare so I don't know about home care. Are they afraid of hospice? Many people won't consider it because of the old mythe "they give you morphine and you die" or that you have to have cancer to be in hospice.
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Dad's MD should be able to order the necessary home care for getting him to bed. You might want to contact the MD and explain to him quite frankly that Mom can't do this alone. Dad may have to be moved to a skilled care facility. Neither one of them will be happy about this, but your only other option is to hire evening help for them.
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