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Is invited to family members homes for a visit tells them she will come then the day we are suppose to go gives me all kinds of excuses why she can't go.

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Does that mean that you can't go either?
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I know. My mother was the same way. Sometimes toileting is a problem for them, so they won't go anywhere. My mother improved 100% in a nursing home. She is back to her old self, after 10 years of decline.
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