Mom simply will not keep her depends on and takes them off in the middle of the night. What do I do? - AgingCare.com

Mom simply will not keep her depends on and takes them off in the middle of the night. What do I do?

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She is upset about it too and of course, she wakes up with a wet bed/pad/nightie and sometimes sheets and mattress pad. She acts like it upsets her too, and I believe it does upset her, but even during a daytime nap she will take them off. Lately, I make sure she uses the potty right before she goes down, and as soon as she gets up, so wearing one during the day is less important, but she will take them off in the daytime too if she has one on. She's otherewise very compliant and easy to care for. And has minimal dementia...

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Thank you, sad4dad.... will look into it!
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You're welcome.
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Jocelyne, if she is itching maybe her liver levels are a bit out of whack, the itching can be pretty bad. Benedryl won't help, but if it is a problem, a medicine called cholestramine resin can help. It is prescription, a powder and it is used to stop diarrhea and to stop itching from elevated bilirubin. It can be mixed with food or drink. She could also be having a mild reaction to a medication. Benedryl would work in that case. If she doesn't itch, maybe she won't shred the depends.
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By the way, I have SEVEN mattress pads, one below the sheet if she pees a lot and misses the mattress pad on top of the sheet. Yes, I have one under and one over the sheet. Her "sheet" happens to always be a fleece blanket because it never gets cold, it's cuddly, and the mattress pad seems to cling to it better than a regular sheet. Just added info...
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Martha... this maybe the better thing to do than forcing the issue. Even using duct tape sounds rather disrespectful, but sometimes I think she's just stubborn as can be. It just irks me, but you know, what I may think is intentional carelessness on her part, may truly be inability. She does wet the bed every night, and gets angry about it in the morning. I think you're right in that she is 92, and why sweat the small stuff... overcoming bad with good is always a good idea. Thank you.
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My Mom won't use them either...and sometimes she does pee in the bed. Sometimes she doesn't. I prefer not to upset her and I like to keep her dignity in tact. I don't use them at all at night. I already know she is either going to pee in the bed or not.
So...I stay prepared. I have 3 different waterproof mattress pads...that I change out. If she has wet the bed...then off with the soiled pad and on with the clean pad and new sheets.
I let them air dry in the spare room to save the pad and the water and electric bill. I don't mention the wet bed...I don't want to embarrass her. So I just say..."it's laundry day!" While being pleasant. And my Mom loves to help me make the bed...so it's a win-win for us.
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I have to say, I've thought of the duct tape, and now I'm ready to do it. I walked in on her last night while she slept (1:30am) and she was scratching herself in her sleep. Scratch, scratch, scratch, here there and everywhere. Then I saw her literally pulling them off during her sleep... or 1/2 sleep, whatever. So..... it's a question of sensitive skin, and I don't think anything will work outside of duct taping. She does take Loratadine for allergies to lessen the itchiness, which has helped. I know she never wore undies to bed most of her life, so this is just something she can't get used to. So, duct tape it is, and thank you so very much. Somehow, it helps to know I'm not alone in all this!
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I second the duct tape suggestion. No harm done, and whatever works, works. Good luck.
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The "adaptive clothing" works wonders. My SIL was having the same problem with my mother and she ordered her one that looks like the swimsuits from the olden days and it works perfectly. We even use it during the day to keep her from sticking her hand down her pants.
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Here's another idea: Posey Soft Hand Mitts.

amazon/Posey-Soft-Hand-Mitts/dp/B000R91Q0C#

$57.00
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