Mom talks about going home every day. Advice?

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Mom talks about going home everyday. She thinks she lost her house keys, but they've always been in her coat pocket. I don't know what to do. Breaks my heart too..She gets mad or gives me the silent treatment...What do I do?



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Many people at the end of life talk about going home meaning they are ready to die and "go home" and be with the Lord. That is nothing we know for sure but it seems to be a comfort for the loved ones in their time of waiting.
As mentioned above it can mean their childhood home or an ancestral home or the place they spent their married life and raised their children.
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When my mother wakes up, I give her tea, then I'm with her all day until she goes to bed. I don't like to leave her alone, I'm noticing new changes in her. Unless I go shopping which is a few minutes..most an hour, then back at cooking or cleaning or serving my mom..
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Chappy, my Mom [98] did the same thing, she kept saying "she wanted to go home" and would complain that my Dad would leave the motel without her. Actually Dad was visiting Mom in the nursing home.

We knew "home" to her was her childhood home as she would ask if the cows were in the field.... the only home that had cows was the dairy farm where she and her siblings grew up.

We would just answer to her "we will go tomorrow" and said nothing more. Mom was happy with that answer, even though we would use it very time we visited. I found too many words would really confuse her, thus a short sentence worked best.
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I had a patient recently who, when being cleaned after a BM with a cold wipe, would whimper, "I want to go home! I want to go home!" This woman did NOT have dementia but the trauma of being placed on her side and wiped down made her go to a "happy place" for lack of a better term. And by the way, she WAS being cared for at home.

I think your mom's desire to go home is a state of mind. A "happy place" that she imagines. Maybe it is where she grew up or maybe it's the home she shared with your dad, her husband, for many years. Or maybe it doesn't exist except in her mind.

Have you tried redirecting her when she talks about going home? Get her attention on something else. Don't try to reason with her or get her to explain what she's talking about because she probably can't.

You might also want to try a low dose of anti-anxiety medication if your mom's desire to "go home" is frequent.
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Hi Chappy, Sorry no one has responded so far. Seniors with dementia often express a desire to 'go home'. Even if they have lived in the house for 50+ years. Frequently, their mind has returned to their growing up years and that is the house they recall. If you enter senior wants to go home in the search box on this site and the Alzheimers site, you will get many postings and ideas.
Many of the posters on this site have loved ones with dementia, so you have come to the right place!! Welcome.
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