If Mom were to pass, can my siblings come and go as they please?

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Prior to my Fathers' passing, he asked me to move in with Mom to help her out and care for her. She's 81 does not drive but mentally sound. (not to nice) but she's my Mom. I gave up everything and my son and i moved in. I have 3 older sisters, two live within 5 minutes of here. It costs me more to live here than it did on my own. It's been a little over 3 years (blood,sweat and tears) I can count on 1 hand how many times they have taken her out or given a ride. They hardly visit and it hurts my Mom. They cherished my Dad me too but not her and she although she can be mean did just as much for us as he did. They say crazy things about when Ma dies, I want my Money, or we're selling the house immediately, just mean stuff that makes me real sad and mad. I do not feel like what my parents worked for is MINE, I even said to her Ma why dont you leave everything to Boys Town or St. Judes 2 of her favorites. Its just sad. My ? is though when and if my mom passes before me, can they come and go as they please (do i have tenant rights?) And don't they have to give me time to find a new place and clean out the house??? Thanks for letting me rant and any help is greatly appreciated. And from what I see on this site, None of us are alone, so keep caring and smiling. (those of us who do it wouldn't have it any other way)

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Maybe you can consult an elder lawyer and see if there is a way to see that things are divided equally, or you are financially compensated for the care you have provided.
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Hmm... you have been caring for your mother for 3 years without any help. What I would hope is that she would be willing to redo the will and leave the house to you. That would help make your life easier and will give her the chance of contributing something to you for all the help you've been.
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Advice on driving: do not let your elderly parent drive if they have near accidents like on of my friends did. Do not even ride with them. If the driver gets into an accident and it turns out to be his/her fault, a lawsuit could result in loss of assets, including any property someone may own. I refused to let Mom drive. From 2012 to 2013, I would not let my 92-year old stubbornly independent mom drive her car; around or out of our condo complex, I had to move her car to another visitor space every 72 hours to avoid towing! When I drove the car to a service for an auto inspection, I was told that a $500 repair job on the 1993 car had to be done. Mom then decided to sell the car because she thought she was no going to drive anytime soon!
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Pat at home, if you were MY family, of course we would see to your needs. Legally, however, no one is forced to care for you. You would have to go to Social Services to find housing for the disabled. All families are different.
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Get an attorney - and a new lock as soon as they pass. All I can say is just, WOW.
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If you have a disability and cannot work, will your family help support your needs during and after your parents' death?
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Oh dear, KP, I was afraid someone would know personally of that's having happened. Sigh :(
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I have read the question & responses. Strictly regarding the house & estate there are too many things unknown. If you were to get a lawyer to protect that you could stay in the house til it sells I don't know how it would be written because what if something happens between now & her death that means the house is used to pay either medicaid back or creditors back like for healthcare expenses not thought of now. If they try to write down that you have time to move out and the house ends up not belonging to the estate that would seem an impossible legal stipulation. At least I have never heard of it.

As for siblings not forcing out a caregiver sibling on the day of death it happened to my cousin. All the siblings flew in for the funeral hired authorities & the eldest sister was on the curb a few days after the funeral so the siblings could return to their jobs & locations. This was a family that got along well & each child had shared the caregiving to a certain extent. One had her for a couple years, only the one made executor never had to do any caregiving. Luckily for the one evicted she had been allowed vacations away infrequently by the executor (brother) and had met a man on a cruise she married when evicted. They had been dating & he had been good to the mother as well. So fortunately she had a place to go. This was all done quickly so they could list the house to sell it & break it up or pay debts. This was years ago & the house is still not sold.

So yes they will put you out if they have a mind to.Hopefully you can become the heir of the house at least so instead of a time limit to move out you can have a place to reside permanently. It isn't about having a right to what she earned, it is also about having a way to live when you are no longer able to work since you are giving up your time now when you could be working. At least that is how I see it.
At the very least a lawyer should be able to protect the house for you & it seems that it should happen asap since there is a 5 year lookback from nursing home medicaid in case that becomes a given later.
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Money may be tight for you, I don't know, but there are attorneys who work for free for those in need who could help you if you need the help. You do need to get some help as soon as possible. You need either a will or a trust set up for your Mom. We have a trust and it allows for your Mom to stipulate what she wants done with her home and property when she passes. You need to speak to her and if it were me I would ask her to please put in a clause that would allow me to at least remain in the house for 1 year after she passes. This will allow you time to get your head together and decide what you are going to do. In reality she should give you the house for taking care of her, when no one else seems to care.

I would ask for disposition of the personal property some time like 3 to 6 months after Mom's death so you can sort through everything unless you can do it now prior to her death and tag everything, like guns go to Bill, China to Sue, Tools to Bob.

Unfortunately when you have family like this, it is going to be a "free for all" when Mom dies and most likely, "first come, first served" so you desperately need legal documents and possibly a restraining order to keep these members from ransacking the house.

If you are strong enough you need to obtain her Power of Attorney for financial and healthcare decisions. Just a warning as this could become a war among family with you trying to hold them at bay.

My sister told my mother to her face, "When you die, I will have hit the lottery! I am taking my money and leaving here! She screamed it twice and I was shocked as was my mother. You can live in what you believe to be a decent family, but when it comes to death and money, the worst side of everyone seems to come out and they act like a bunch of vultures.

This absolutely MUST be taken care of right now and all siblings need to know what has happened and what will and will not be taking place even if you have to have the attorney draw up a letter and mail it to each of them. Your life will be utter hell and you will be run over with zero say if you do not take care of this NOW!

Good Luck my heart goes out to you!
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Unfortunately, yes - documents and legal expertise are sorely needed here. Hoep it is not too hard or too expensive to sort it all out. Bless you!
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