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My mother has dementia. The toilet she uses is gross. This was not the case a year ago. So every day , I use Lysol wipes. On the toilet , the toilet paper holder, and the faucets. I also have to tell her she has toilet paper in her pants. I pay for her to get a bath 2 to 3 times a week. While she is getting bathed, I Lysol wipe the couch she sleeps on since she refuses to sleep in her room. Looking to get her placed real soon. As she also opens my bedroom door and stares at my husband and me
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Reply to Erinm60
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MomsAssistant Dec 24, 2018
Thank you so much for the reminder about the Lysol wipes!
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I don' t mean to sound unsympathetic but I've heard people on this site talking about their parents pulling their pants up without even wiping their bums, smearing poo all over the home, even eating their own poo. So if this is the worst of your problems consider yourself lucky.

Having said this, if it bugs you then it is a problem, to you. The ideas you've already been given sound good to me.
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Reply to Gershun
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MomsAssistant Dec 24, 2018
So true that things are not as bad as they could be. I'm taking note of all these good ideas and comments. Thank you!
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MomsAssistant, I'm going to tell you why the order your mom does things doesn't matter as much as you think. I hope it brings peace and not panic.

In your bathroom, there are a couple things you and your mom both touch that harbor hundreds of times more germs than the toilet handle.

Sink handles or knobs. She turns the water on with unwashed hands after using the toilet, then touches the same thing with washed hands to turn it off, picking back up some of what she just washed off.

The doorknob. People touch it going in and going out, so it has a wide assortment of germs from inside and outside. Even if your mom flushes first, then washes her hands (touching sink knobs!), she's touching the doorknob next.
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MomsAssistant Dec 24, 2018
Wow, you brought out so many points I didn't think about. Lately though I've been giving more attention to cleaning the handles and knobs regularly. However, I don't want to overdo it and become too obsessed with germs. Interestingly, our public restroom etiquette is to always use a paper towel to open the door when exiting (most of those toilets and sinks operate without needing to touch). Thanks for helping me put all these issues in perspective! Yes, peace and not panic :-)
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To add some more to this subject matter, think about this.... after we all use the restroom, we don't wash our hands before putting our garments back up, we re-dress before washing.

That is when I remembered that in some foreign countries I had visited, there was a sink right in the bathroom stall.... great idea.... no need to touch one's clothes until hands are washed :)

Anyone's Mom hover instead of sitting down on the toilet? My Mom was one from that generation that had a fear of the toilet seat itself.
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Reply to freqflyer
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cwillie Dec 13, 2018
I blame the people who hover for all the pee on the toilet seats, how else does it get there?
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If your mother has already washed her hands before she presses the toilet flush button, the chances are that no nasties are getting onto the button, at least from her. If you are pressing it before you wash your hands, then it is getting your own nasties and perhaps you need to clean it yourself after you have pressed it. Perhaps you could get a bottle of handwash and leave it next to things your mother might touch that matter, eg food and the kitchen sink. But to be honest, there are far worse insanitary habits that many of us cope with. I hope that you make sure the toilet lid is down before flushing - flushing stirs up all the nasties and spreads them much further than a finger on a button.
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MomsAssistant Dec 11, 2018
Thank you so much for these great tips! I was just concerned that by touching the button she risks bringing germs from the bathroom into the kitchen. But as you said, I will be sure to make sure there is always handwash in the kitchen area. I will also given attention to keeping the flush button clean as I possibly can without becoming obsessed the issue. You are so right that things could be far worse, so I am grateful.
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MomsAssistant, is this something new that Mom is doing, or has she done this most of her life? Old habits are very hard to change.

If Mom has any type of dementia, she is not going to remember, so arguing will be a waste of time and only upset Mom. Keep a can of Lysol in the bathroom to spray on the flusher before you use the toilet.
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MomsAssistant Dec 11, 2018
Thank you for this excellent suggestion! I don't think mom is suffering from dementia at this time. She is active, sharp and really on top of everything else. I noticed she has just always liked to do things her own way, unless someone can prove to her in black and white that she is wrong.

My issue is that after the bathroom, she often wants to go to the kitchen and start cooking. I told her I will not be eating her cooking as long as she continues this habit. I explained to her that I already have digestive issues and can't afford to get sick. Neither can she, since her immune system is very delicate. My sister, who lives out of state said I probably got sick in the first place because of mom's careless hand washing practices. I told my mom if I get sick I cannot help her. I want to keep peace but she acts offended about my decision to cook for myself.
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