My Mom passed away recently, when she was in ICU one day there was blood on her bed pad. It never happened again, is this normal?

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My mom was injured in her nursing home. She had huge hematomas to the front temporal area and back of head which resulted in 3 brain bleeds. She had a couple of bruises on her shoulder and broken ribs too. The nursing home did not seek send her to the hospital for 16 hours. By then she had brain damage that would have left her a non responsive person.

We spent every minute with her from Sept 9th to the 17th when she passed away. During this entire time, she never had a bowel movement. One day they were changing her bed and the pad had blood on it. This is the one and only time this happened. Would that be something normal? Her coumadin was up to 5 when she was admitted so they began pumping her with vitamin K and fresh frozen plasma.

I have been going over Mom medical records and I personally do not see how my mother could have just rolled out of bed during the night and sustained such severe injuries. Anymore, everywhere I turn, I am hearing about an elderly patient who "fell out of bed" and died from the injuries they sustained. This sounds like a convenient excuse to me.

The nursing home decided to "hold" Mom's bed at no cost while she was in the hospital, I asked them the other day if I owed them any money and the girl would not even turn around and look at me, she just shook her head "NO." They have not billed Medicare for her two weeks in their facility either.

It seems like they are telling me they are at fault by their actions, but no one is going to tell me the truth either for fear of losing their job.

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Rectal bleeding after a week of no BM might be just constipation plus Coumadin related. But the whole thing just stinks and whether or not the attorneys decide it is a good case for court (my vote is for the one 6 hours away who will look though the records for free), reports to APS and to the Office of Long Term Care or your local equivalents makes perfect sense, and I have a sneaky suspicion that the nursing home admin is hoping against hope that you don't do that. No Rx and no BM for a week is pretty negligent too in most cases.

I went back and read some of your old posts about why she went into care in the first place, and absolutely that needed to happen. It is possible that the one staff member got abusive to your mom, possibly because she could not let him change her when she needed it. My MIL was hit by a staffer in her first placement, and even though she in a way provoked it because she made horrible racist remarks (she really was racist, even before any dementia set in - without any "filter" I can only imagine what might have been said...), the place where this happened had to finance her being moved to a different, more expensive place...I do not know all the details, but my niece Donna was an eldercare attorney at the time and if they had tried anything, they would have been rattling the wrong cage and they knew it. It is NOT possible that you could have predicted or prevented this. I know your heart aches, but do, above all, remember this is NOT YOUR FAULT OR FAILING in any way. Pursue justice as far as you can, and if they do manage to cover it all up despite your best efforts, my hope is that you can be at peace for having tried your best.
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Let me just say, do what is in your heart. Your mother is unfortunately gone, and I would be of the stance that if your mother fell out of bed in a nursing home, that is negligent. I know many attorney's that would take a case like this for contingency fees. But, you do have to hand over all of the documents for that.

It is up to what you really want to do. Do you want this to drag on and I mean drag on, or do you want to grieve this, try to forgive, and "I would personally, pay one attorney 3 hours of time to show up with me to the facility" unannounced to ask them questions. Many of you will say that is illegal. But… what if that person is a friend?

I don't know, it is very sad and I am very sorry for you and your family and your dear mother, and my heart goes out to you, but when I hear 80% go not told, that is a "crime". This is different than being in bed. We are responsible for them in bed.

The Nursing Home is responsible for them, we are paying them, or the State is paying them money.

Much Love,
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freqflyer: I do understand what you are saying and where you are coming from. The thing is that my mother never had fallen and i cared for her for 8 years and she had only been in this home two weeks. She was being forced to use a walker that she did not need and wear a diaper she did not need either, what was worse was she told us she did not want the men nurses helping her change her diaper. My sister talked to her nurse and asked him to please have a female nurse help her, he refused and told her that Mom "would just have to get use to it." This caused an argument between my sister and him and it was about 3 hours before the "fall." He was suppose to call me immediately but he didn't, it happened according to him at 11:30pm but he called me at 6:30am and was very nervous and just kept telling me she was fine, and NOT TO COME TO THE HOME!

Their story changed 4 times and they kept telling me Mom was fine until they called and said they were sending her to the hospital 16 hours after the fall. The clothes she had been wearing "disappeared" and we asked for them numerous times. We wanted to see if they were torn or showed any signs of a struggle but they were missing, including her shoes!

I love my mother and I do think that someone has to answer for what happened to her because the nursing home has done nothing but lie to us. They have even decided not to bill Medicare for the two weeks my mother was in their care. Although I think they are trying to make it look like they are sympathizing with us and this is how they are showing their grief, it really looks like they are not reporting her as a patient because they do not want to have to report her injury which led to her death.

Look at the statistics that tell the number of fall injuries and those that lead to death in nursing homes, it is an epidemic. Knowing this and knowing my mother walked perfectly, I feel that I owe it to my mother to at least stand up for her and if there is a wrong here, try to "right it" for the others in her place.
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Stressed52, when you go to write to Boni, see the line below which will look like what you see when you go to write a message to someone by clicking on their screen name. Be sure the *private message* box is checked.

Post a message for BoniChak (5000 characters left) [/] Private Message?
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I'm thinking now the hug you sent with your email was taken down by admin. Send it privately and we should be fine.
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I checked back and did not see your response, but I did notice the message I sent you was 2 days before my heart attack, and I could not see too much on my Iphone in ICU. Send me your email address again and I will send you mine. I will copy and paste all of your posts and email it to Brother. He will be honest if you are wasting your time and effort, or help you find a competent attorney, if he thinks you have a case. Where are you ?
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Stressed, this was such a horrible thing for your family to go through. What do you want to achieve, information for your own peace of mind? it is possible no one knows.Money as compensation? it won't bring Mom back? Punishment for the N/H?
What will that do? one thing you can do is report the incident to your State Health Board and they will do a thorough investigation and insist on changes in protocol if appropriate.
i think it is time to let this rest for your own peace of mind. By all means have Boni's brother check the records and take his advice on if you should proceed. Email information is quickly removed by the admins so you may need to go through the admins to exchange emails.
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Could you discreetly talk to family members of other residents at the nursing home and see if they have had concerns about their family members? If you feel there had been some sort of abuse of your mom surely it isn't an isolated incident.

I know at the nursing home where my mom is they check in on her at least once an hour. My mom is very stubborn about using her walker even though she is very unsteady on her feet. I know if I were to find bruising on my mom I would assume immediately that she had fallen on her own cause they are very gentle with her and treat her like glass as captain said with his aunt.
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BoniChak: I did respond to you with a Hug. You wanted to forward my info to your brother but did not want to do it without my okay. I sent you a Hug and told you at that time that "No I did not mind at all, it was actually a blessing." I even gave you my email address. I never heard back from you.

I don't know how things must have got crossed but I did appreciate your offer of help!
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Let's not forget, an elder can fall out of bed and hurt themselves right in their own home or your home under the care of loved ones. And if the elder isn't taken to the hospital for test right away, do other family members sue the daughter or son [or whomever is doing the caring] for this happening? Just curious.

My Dad was on Coumadin, he kept falling in his house or out in his yard, and one day he fell in his driveway and broke his nose. While in the hospital the doctor on duty felt Dad was more of a risk of falling and bleeding out then he was for having another heart attack, so Dad was taken off of Coumadin. That was several years ago, so far so good. But I wouldn't sue my Mom for not calling 911 immediately when he broke his nose and had trouble trying to stop the bleeding.... I was told about this hours after the fact, and I called 911... goodness sake, Dad could have bled out.... [sigh]
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