She will not take any meds to relieve her symptoms all she does is complain and cancel her plans, even Dr appointments. Complains about being in the house, but will not get up and do something about it.
I am at a loss… Her neurologist will not allow me to discuss how she is doing, unless she is sitting there listening because of HIPPA, However I do not want to suffer mom's wrath, because it will make her Irate.
Are you on the medial forms that they can provide you with information?
Your mom has dementia. I can not imagine a doctor refusing to talk to you about your mom's medical conditions. At some point, maybe even now, she is not going to comprehend what she is being told, what she needs to do, what other medical problems she may have. Also she may not be able to relay what her problem is to the doctor This would be like sending a 3, 4 or 5 year old into the doctors office without the parent.
IF your mom were given something like a medication for the "sinus infection" would she take it? If so you could try getting a "placebo" any candy that looks like it might be a pill and give that to her for a week and see if the "sinus infection" clears up.
I would suggest a medication like Benadryl but that makes the brain "fuzzy" (at least is does mine) and with dementia a fuzzier brain is not a good thing. But it would dry her out if that is what the problem might be.
If she is compliant maybe a visit to her dentist might provide some answers. If he/she suspects a sinus infection many dentists can write prescriptions for that as well. A dentist might also discover it is a tooth problem not a sinus problem.
I do believe that your mother could well be imagining ongoing 'sinus infections' because I was getting one every September & can tell you this: the pain is quite excruciating. The headaches alone are mind bending, so the thought of NOT taking medication to lessen the symptoms is unthinkable, really. Not to mention a real sinus infection normally requires a run of anti-biotics to properly clear up. So, if your mom is unwilling to do anything but complain about a 'sinus infection' I wouldn't worry about it. If she wants to get irate about things to you, tell her you're hanging up the phone now or leaving her presence because you're not going to deal with that kind of behavior. That's what I do with my own mother when she sees fit to treat me like a piece of dirt under her feet. Nope, not having it mother, see ya later. My mother with moderately advanced dementia is constantly irate about something, and constantly 'dying' of some fabricated illness or another, and always always 'throwing up and throwing up and throwing up' until I call her Memory Care AL to fact check and find out she's doing just fine. True story. I find it necessary to fact check every single word that comes out of her mouth, 90% of which are lies, confabulations, stories or 'exaggerations'. Just like her latest story of being 'put to bed naked' bc she has 'no nightgowns at all' which, when fact checked, turned out to be untrue: she has 8 folded nightgowns in her closet in her suite at the AL!
Wishing you the best of luck avoiding your mother's wrath & fact checking the information she provides you with!