Mom is 85 years old and was diagnosed with dementia (Alzheimers) 3 years ago. She's been a memory care facility since then. This isn't really the mom I grew up with, she can be very sweet and funny, but more often than not, she's extremely rude/mean/bitchy to my daughters and even my 8 year old granddaughter. I ignore her most of the time and leave if she's too rude, but my kids and grandkids take her actions to heart. I know this is her illness, that her brain is "broken" but I'm having a hard time getting the message through to my kids. How can I explain this to them? I don't want them to stop visiting, but it can be painful for them. I'm trying to figure out the triggers, for this action, so far it's random but happening more and more often.
Thanks in advance, I've been reading this forum for 3 years, this is my first time asking a question.
And if your daughters don't want to go visit that's ok too, as they are grown adults and can make that decision for themselves.... as can you matter of fact.
And perhaps you are visiting her only a couple times a month may be less stressful for you as well. You can call the nurses station to check on her as much as you want but try limiting your visits.
Your adult daughters can decide whether they want to visit . If they choose to visit , they can be short.
A broken brain is how you explain it to them . The adults can read about dementia to learn more.
I'm very sorry you're experiencing this. It's hard to realize that the next generations are not going to know your loved one in the positive way that you did. I hope you will get some solutions.