Follow
Share
Read More
This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Find Care & Housing
I’ve actually heard that those who went through the Great Depression do this... I’m poor & when I wear a shirt to thread-bare, I’ll save the buttons...🤔... I also clean & save plastic & glass jars... ACTUALLY(!!!), if you could convince her that “3rd World 🌍 countries, (sorry I hate that term), could really USE ANY of those things, (clean of course), you could turn this practice into “A proactive activity...?” Even the back of bill, (blank), is cherished by Teachers for their students to write on...
But what do I know... The Samaritan Apprentice
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

Gipper, good points, balanced and rational. Jacob, I like your approach. Mlface, that was my grandparents' experience as well. Escaping from genocide and immigrating to the US before even having had a chance to learn English, they had a much different approach to saving what they felt was needed, and might never be available again.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

There is a quote from a book in Canada:
"we were cleaning out Grammy's closet after she died and found a shoe box labeled: String To Small To Save." Of course inside were tiny 2, 3 and 4 inch pieces of string that filled the box. It is the generation that had nothing and that is what makes them who they are today. My mom's favorites: 1) The envelopes from the bank after she uses the money. 2) Bags from the pharmacy 3) Empty pill bottles and of course the boxes, boxes, boxes......that everyone has mentioned!!
But how great it was when I needed a box of a certain size and I had 5 or 6 to choose from up in the attic!
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

Foxxmolder,
You got me on the pill bottles! I thought I was pretty good about getting rid of stuff but I must have 25 yellow medication bottles from the pharmacy in a plastic bag. (I've taken the labels off.)
I recently used 2 for a friend that I shared some Ibuprofen with. (Costco sells them in a bottle of 1000!) I've used them for sewing needles, safety pins, coins, etc. Unfortunately, they aren't leaving as fast as they're coming! Guess I'll have to part with the ones that will no longer fit in the storage bag.

The good thing about living in Mexico is that everybody saves stuff. All I have to do is set it on the curb and it's gone. Easy recycling. 😊
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

I just remembered how my Mom use to re-use plastic wrap.... that thin sheet of plastic that would fold unto itself and took forever to try to cover a bowl. Of course, Mom would wash it, and place it on the kitchen drying rack :)
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

Sorry, didn't read all the posts.
Yes, "saving" has something to do with growing up during the depression and the war. Right now I have a ceramic apple sitting on my counter that was Moms. She saved rubber bands and twist ties in it. She had a farmhouse pantry so those margarine containers got saved. But, they were good for leftovers to send people home with. Bottle caps! People were saving them not long ago as a fund raiser. They got money for them. Same with empty pill bottles, they were used for medicines overseas. Mom saved jars, she used to make jelly. My sister died in another state. What didn't get sold Mom brought home. I wasn't just cleaning out Moms stuff, I was cleaning out my sisters too that was 20 yrs or more old. My SIL spent 2 weeks with her and told her to donate the rest. No, got to keep it, someone may need it. And believe me, when she did finally get rid of something, someone eventually needed it.

I Don't consider that hoarding, just a product of the time they grew up in.
Now, if they keep every paper they read. Every scrap of paper. You can't walk in their home with stuff all over, that's hoarding.

Me, after cleaning out my Moms I am working on mine. Have given away anything I haven't used in years. I am down to what is left is worth something. Working on my doll collection at this point.
Helpful Answer (4)
Report

My mother,too, a depression child....cans! In the bathroom,under the sink,under kitchen table,living room closets,under the bed. Considering the difficulties of dealing with someone with demetia, narcissistic...this apparently makes her feel "safe" and is the least of my worries.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

My MIL didn't grow up in the great depression nor did she grow up poor, but she saves every empty box, bag, wrapping paper, and container that comes her way. Her house to is neat and orderly until you start looking in closets, drawers and cabinets. She has saved containers that her own mother had in her home. Did I mention that my MIL is 72. We just started moving some of her things into storage and realized she is also addicted to The Home Shopping channel. She buys things by the cases. Make up, hair products and buys items she will never use. We found 3 brand new carpet cleaners still in boxes and her carpet hasn't been shampooed in years! There is so much stuff that the closets weren't being used for clothes but for boxes of things she has collected. It got worse after her dementia diagnoses. We now help her with finances but its been rough. She is still paying with her credit card for items she bought 5 yrs ago. UGH!
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

In addition to all the usual string, clothes pegs, paper clips and pill bottles, my Mum started saving food. Now, she was a war child in the UK and grew up with food rationing. She raised us never to waste leftovers that always reappeared in another form but with the Alzheimer's this all went to extremes. Half opened cracker package, half a banana, half a muffin, half a cookies. You get it. And all hidden in The fridge, in drawers, in pockets and even under the sink. Now all that became a health problem because of bugs and mould. Every time we visited my brother or I would go on a search while Mum was in the bathroom or out in the garden. We also had to smuggle out the treasures as we couldn't just leave them in the garbage for her to rescue again. Ah yes, how I miss those frantic searches and the surprises. :)
Helpful Answer (5)
Report

My Mother and Father both grew up during the depression. My Mom never did anything like that, but my Dad saved everything. He would keep stuff until it fell apart and then still try to fix it. He would watch the thermostat and if anyone touched it he would have a fit. He would keep it hot in the summer and cold in the winter. He acted like he was poor, like in the 1930's
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

Isabelsdaughter, this sentence of yours made me laugh out loud. "He would keep it hot in the summer and cold in the winter. " Sounds just like my folks. Hahahahaha. Thanks for the good laugh. And I can't say I'm any different. I leave my thermostat at 69 in the winter and 78-80 in the summer. I'm frugal, which I learned from my folks. :)
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

Yes, it’s the legacy of the past, not hoarding. My mother threw out all my ‘journal’ letters of my trip around Europe, but kept a cupboard full of plastic bags. Born in 1917, she said once that the invention with most impact on her was of bandaids, so that you didn’t have to bandage difficult knees for children. That gives you some idea of how amazing and valuable new things can seem, even if most people now think of them as garbage. For me, born in 1947, I am still using margarine containers for the freezer, even though I haven’t bought that brand for about 20 years. My daughters think I should throw them all out and buy replacements designed for the job. My take on it is that it shows just how much we waste!
Helpful Answer (7)
Report

We are all products of our past experiences. Not just one experience, but all of them together and then to top it off--our choices. Everyone has choices to make. Even not making a choice is actually a choice to accept what comes their way.
BTW, I don't agree with reusing old drink straws, or hiding left over food.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

Oh goodness, those plastic containers!

My parents were not hoarders, and they were born/grew up just after the depression, but their parents were adults during the depression and thus, passed the "make do" mindset down to their children. So to answer your question, I do think it is related to growing up in or having parents who lived during that era.

When I moved in, I trashed bags and bags of.....bags. Paper and plastic grocery bags were saved for DECADES. Neatly folded and stored inside each other. It was almost like a work of art, the way Dad would fold and save them. But literally - just bags and bags of them. Some of the plastic bags were so old that they crumbled into dust when you touched them.
Bags and boxes filled with plastic food containers - cottage cheese, cool whip, take-out containers - anything washable was saved until it was sticky, dusty and brittle with age. Out they went.
Pill bottles - Mom and Dad were both on multiple medications, so these numbered in the hundreds. Dad would remove the labels and use them to store the myriad small bits and pieces of things that he saved. String pieces long enough to be used for "something later on". Small hardware items like screws or tacks. Small crafting items he used in his later years when he could no longer do his woodworking.

Don't get me started on the paper. I found every single tax return they had ever filed from the first year of their marriage going forward (interesting from a historical aspect), and every single bill they paid for decades, all neatly bundled and saved. Also all the bills and paperwork related to their handling of THEIR parents' finances before and after their deaths.
Thanks for the gifts, folks....they'll make a nice bonfire.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

Just remembered something else. I had to hire a handyman to climb up into my parent's garage attic... no stairs, one had to use a very tall ladder and there was no way I was going to climb up there.

Had no idea what Dad kept in that attic. Much to my surprise the handyman started throwing down into the garage a lot of large empty boxes. My Dad would keep a box just in case he had to ship an item back thus use the original box. Well heavens knows when that dot-matrix printer would break down, if it did Dad still had the box :P
Helpful Answer (5)
Report

If we were to have another Great Depression, I think that psychologists would study its after effects and perhaps conclude that there's a form of PTSD that affects people who have to survive through such dire economic consequences.

I've often wondered if people who suffer through lifelong poverty or chronic and debilitating illness aren't also subject to a form of PTSD.

It wouldn't surprise me if in 10 or more years PTSD encompasses a broad form of emotional traumas, including battered woman syndrome (if it's not already included), economic deprivation, displacement from homelands, and more. I can't believe that people living in Syria will ever be able to live a normal life again.
Helpful Answer (6)
Report

FF - I forgot about those too! The transistor radio Dad bought in 1975. The multiple landline phones purchased due to this house being something of a magnet for lightning strikes coming through the phone lines and frying the phones. Every single power tool ever purchased or given to him brand new.
Every box for every item was *somewhere* in this house when I moved in.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

While hoarding could be part of the explanation, I would more likely lean towards the savings habits of depression/war and post-war era people AND the possibility that you are dealing with a combination of aging and dementia. Agreed with some that not all depression/war-era people continued their saving ways, and it most certainly can be a 'learned' behavior, as many of you are testament to! Our parents saved SO much stuff (dad's old tools, random bits and pieces to use fixing things, paper and plastic bags, plastic grocery containers, etc.) Mom had a bad habit that dates waaaayyyy back to shopping for clothes, shoes, purses, etc and hanging on to her 'bargains' from Marshall's and TJ Maxx. The closets in their previous home were stuffed over-full with clothes, to the point where she could not find the items she wanted. That long predated her dementia (over 90 when it showed up, the clothing etc issue was not related.) The attempt made a few years ago to go through the stuff was met with 'Oh I keep the stuff nice.' Yes mom, they are nice and well kept, but when you cannot fit in them anymore, what good is it to hang on to them... I was waved off in my attempt to go through them with her. Had I any idea of how much she actually had, I would have pushed harder and more often!! What I was not aware of was the five porta-closets she had in the basement, on top of all closets stuffed over-full, drawers, boxes, totes, hope chests, etc. After moving her to MC, every time we opened another box, we tried to guess what it was - OH, MORE CLOTHES OH MORE SHOES OHHHH MORE PURSES!!! Some clothes still have tags, a few purses still have plastic on the zipper tabs, some shoes never worn. Augh. I would almost categorize THAT as minimal hoarding, but the saving of "useful" items would definitely fall under the depression/war era (or any economically needy time) of saving/reusing items. In addition, even after the war and before the more opulent times, saving and reusing items would still apply. There is also an issue with items used often that go on "sale". It is a 'bargain' and we use it so we buy it (soaps, TP, aspirin, Qtips, etc.)! Hence you end up with multiples of things that get put away and forgotten. I found myself doing this, and likely will not need any TP, laundry soap or dishwasher tabs for a long time! At least I finally realized it and stopped!!!

That said, when mom started showing signs of dementia, the hiding, misplacing items and forgetting where they were became evident. When we had to do the shopping, she would indicate a need for something (paper towels, TP, etc) and we would provide it, but she would put it away somewhere and forget it was there, and then later ask for more saying she was out, so we ended up with more multiples of items! Despite having proper trash bags, unless I put a bunch at the bottom of the trash can, she would use grocery bags, which were way too small. She would not remember that she had a large box of them despite reminding her and moving them to a closet she used more often! Until we actually started cleaning out the place after moving her we only saw/experienced some of this. Misplaced tweezers? My brother's family must have taken them when they were visiting (those tweezers? I bought a new pair for her and later found 2-3 in the bathroom and about 5-6 in a dresser drawer!) Old jewelry slated for gold reclamation? The painter must have taken them. We found a large and a small bag full of old medication, all mixed - no idea what was what, how could you ever "reuse" them! Cup covers for frozen max and cheese in drawers. Freezer items wrapped in torn up grocery bags despite providing plenty of wax paper, plastic wrap and baggies! Despite living alone after dad passed in 2008, she never cleaned out these drawers, but it was more a case of it is put away, forgotten and lack of cleaning up periodically rather than hoarding. In the definition given by the Mayo Clinic, it could fall under this because of the "need to save them", but if we had the time to help clean out stuff, I do not think she would be 'distressed' about tossing much of the stuff that was not needed and/or broken/useless. She did try to give some clothes to me (most not stuff I would wear, not my 'style') and old tools, but as with OPs mother, on the surface everything appeared neat and orderly.

Several have indicated they learned 'frugal' ways from mom and dad - we are among them, but my younger brother is the worst! He is/was also a 'dumpster diver', bringing home items after taking the trash to the dump! When I was in college, the recycling idea became a "thing", however when we bought our first home, all we had access to was a dump for trash. Reusing items is, in a way, recycling and I do still take advantage of items this way. When they break or I have too many, I do throw some away. Yogurt cups, with drilled holes in the bottom are great for starting tomato and pepper plants! They get started then transplanted when viable to larger pots - containers saved from plant items purchased - no point wasting all that potting soil if the seeds do not germinate! I was also guilty of saving old bills and other paperwork. Many years ago I did pitch about 7 years worth of checking account information (well past the date needed to save them) and had to immediately make that trip to the dump before I put it all back! Since moving, I did shred the 80s, and 90s, and I believe some of the early 2000s... still more to do, but now a lot of mom stuff has made its way here. Now I have MORE to get rid of! The decision for the clothes is to donate whatever will no longer fit (she has gained 20# since the MC move!) There is just too much to deal with consignment or yard sale. I really do not have the time for that!

But, back to Nana1Nana2's question - it does not sound like hoarding to me from her brief description. Excessive saving of potentially useful (but not really needed) items or random saving of things like take-out plastics, etc might be a bad habit, but it is probably not hoarding. If she is wrapping non-perishables and stashing them, this sounds much more like a combination of old habits AND dementia. OP does not indicate mom's age, but does mention hearing loss - THAT can contribute to dementia. It really sounds to me more like she is in the early stages of dementia and should be monitored, especially if she is living alone. Despite having recently put some cameras in place to monitor entrance/kitchen area and finished basement while she was still at home, we had no inkling how much was going on, and what was/was not being cleaned up, cleared out or stashed. My observations, both in person and on the phone was the first clue to dementia (repetitive calls for a ride to appointment, repeating the same things over and over, having issues with paying bills, not understanding what the old 1099's she dug out were for, etc.) So definitely keep an eye on mom for signs of dementia and be proactive if she lives alone. If she lives with you or you with her, you can monitor the hidden stuff and perhaps retrieve it when she is not looking. The hiding of stuff just means you'll have some clean up to do at some point!
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

I heard a guy on the radio yesterday Re his gramma: "A place for everything, and every place has a thing."
That's my MIL, God bless her. She borders on hoarding, but her home is neat; and she knows where every piece of junk she's carried home from a yard sale is stored away in case someone needs it.
Three freezers full of food that may be this summer's family project, though.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

disgustedtoo--From what you've described I think you must have been in my sister's house, especially regarding the clothes. ("Oh, I'm going to wear that!" "Yeah, when??") Her husband and I are trying to figure out just what is causing this...
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

jacobsonbob - tee hee... yeah. mom was a clothing pack rat. In the previous residence, she took over every closet in the house, one by one, as we all moved out. Dad's things had to go to the TV room closet (originally a second BR on first floor, upper was unfinished until later.) So a full double closet, three good sized BR closets upstairs and a walk in... What prompted me to offer helping her clear some out was having her choose something for my son's wedding, but NOT trying it on until the day of the wedding! As I was driving on the highway, my brother texted that she couldn't get into the item. I let his daughter, who was with me, make the responses as I certainly could not! PICK something else and put it on! It was about 5-10 minutes texting - what does he think I'm going to do from the highway!!! I do wish it WAS your sister's place I was in, then I would not have to organize getting all these clothes out!!! I have several boxes of shoes to deal with and I thought just the 5 large trash bags of purses, but discovered two more totes in my garage with MORE purses!!

To all - as I was thinking (ouch) since my post, the "anthropologist" in me (yes, I have a degree in it, but never 'practiced' it, though I still enjoy reading up about other cultures, and applying some ideas to current "cultures") thought about how "primitive" societies would utilize every scrap of every animal that was killed for food - bones for weapons, needles, etc, hide for clothing an shelters, sinew for sewing, etc as well as all the meat and organs. So, this may be something that is deeply ingrained in our DNA as well. In times of plenty, perhaps the more well-to-do did not need to keep this 'tradition' going so it got lost along the way, or perhaps transitioned to buying all those expensive items that will never keep you warm or feed you! :-D Others have carried on that tradition of utilizing items for other purposes. Some take it to the extreme, becoming hoarders. I don't think my former MIL was much of a saver/re-user (her mother died when MIL was about 15, so maybe never had the chance to learn?) Despite that, her son, my former, saved so much crap (mechanic, so basement was full of loose bolts, screws, all kinds of who-knows-what, when we split.) I got to do the clean up for that too! He continued to do that - my daughter later bought his little house and had to clean out the shed and upper attic/converted to BRs, of all the crap he left behind... After his mother died, he moved into her house and my daughter rented his former MILs place, ALSO full of all kinds of crap!!! She could not clear it out as it was not her place, and it limited storage for her.

But if OPs mom is just saving plastic containers and wrapping/hiding non-perishable foods, I would not be overly worried. Later you may discover a lot more that has been "hidden" and often may be perplexed about some items, but unless it is impeding access, I would not be concerned. I would, however, as I mentioned in my last post, be on the lookout for dementia. Saving items for reuse or re-purpose is one thing, hiding items is definitely out of the ordinary.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

But is he considering it hiding, just because it's put away?
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Saving miniscule soap pieces is from going through The Great Depression. Wrapping or saving food products is hoarding.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

my girlfriends mom likes to do what we call dumpster diving. she is in her 80s and she walks around the neighborhood till she sees a dumpster and she climbs up the side of it and jumps in. I am not kidding. when my girlfriend comes home her mom has bags full of garbage from the dumpsters into the house . this is a frail little chinese woman that weighed maybe 90 lbs. true story.. we still are trying to figure out how the hell she gets in and out of it.....lol.......
Helpful Answer (5)
Report

Hi everyone! A few posts ago, I mentioned how wonderful my mother found the invention of bandaids and plastic bags, as a reason why our parents keep ‘stuff’. “When did you first see…?” And “how long before they were common?” has proved a very interesting topic of conversation with others of our age (70s), and probably the same for many elderly people. A neglected topic of history, and perhaps something to talk about when day-to-day trivia runs out!
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

Lizzy, your friends' mom and my dad would have been partners in dumpster diving. I was almost to the point of suggesting he stay home.

What a job to clean out a tiny 1 bedroom apartment when he moved to AL. All the "treasures" had to be thrown away!
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter