My mother moved 1200 miles away 35 years ago. She has never been a loving mother. She was selfish, self-centered and neglectful throughout my childhood. Our relationship is not close and we have only seen each other sporadically. Five years ago I had to save her house from being condemned due to hoarding, but that's another story. Apparently she was placed in hospice care two months ago & they just got around to telling me. She has advanced COPD and only stopped smoking two months ago because, finally, the cigarette connection ended. She is a complete invalid and cannot do anything for herself. Now she wants to "come home." She will be leaving my autistic brother there. Does it make sense to transport her 1200 miles in her frail condition? I want to do the right thing but frankly I don't want her. I've joked about changing my phone number. Every encounter with her is emotionally and physically exhausting. It took a week for my blood pressure to stabilize the last time I went there. I thought I was going to have a stroke. So - move or don't move? And how do I deal with the guilt of not taking care of her?
She has been neglectful all her life, and now she expects the person she has neglected to take on a super-human fete on her behalf. Sorry. That is her personal delusion, and not one you have to buy into.
Of course, if you and she had a close loving relationship, I'd still vote no, for practical reasons, but then I might encourage you to go to her or to establish a lot of contact. As it is, your relationship is what it is. Take care of yourself.