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I'm the only one caring for her, my dad passed away at home doing hospice because of kidney failure that was quick less than a week he passed after stopping dialysis. My mom is so depressed she really doesn't see any reason to continue living, she no longer walks can't do anything for herself. She doesn't want a feeding tube place in her if it comes to that, I feel I just should make her as comfortable as possible. she up maybe 4 hrs a day. She is 78 and has had parkinson for 20 yrs. I also took care of my dad for the last 2 an half years here at home. I don't know really how to handle this, I believe she wants to pass away like my dad passed in his sleep?

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People with degenerative diseases like Parkinson's just get very tired of struggling and fighting the disease. Most of them fight to continue because someone else wants them to continue, not for themselves. They get very tired and they just want out. Sometimes, it's compassionate to go along with their wishes.
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I have to agree that hospice is right for her now. (((((((hugs))))) and prayers. This is a difficult time for both of you.
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Your a wonderful daughter, that was a loving and courageous decision. Can you keep us informed. You and your Mom are in my thoughts and prayers.
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So my mom was seen 2day by the Dr, he agree with me that she should be on the hospice program, thank you all 4 ur input. i'll keep u posted
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Sweetheart research end stage Parkinson's disease. You wouldn't want that for your Mom. This is the best way. Just enjoy the time left. Tell her what she means to you. Just laugh through the tears with her. I like your Mom. She has dignity and integrity, and she raised a wonderful, loving daughter. Keep us informed, don't do this alone. We are here for you.
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Kathy1, I like that respect her wishes. I'm thinking of hospice because they were a big help when my dad pass away here at home. thank you
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I'm going to see what type of assistant the Dr. suggest, even if it's placing her in a home, I'll be there daily, but i wanted to give her the same respect as my dad, passing away at home. i guess each case is different. thanks sunflo2 and geewiz for your input ;)
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Yes, end stage parkinson's is a horrible death. Allow her the dignity of pallative care, and a peaceful end. Respect her wishes and actions. My heart goes out to you. Are you in touch with hospice which will lend you support, and keep your Mom out of pain?
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Does she have money where you can also get some outside assistance to come in for a few or several hrs a day? In home care? Don't wear you and your sons out. If this is too much, it's okay to get her into a quality nursing home. Maybe for your peace of mind, you should visit a few in your area spending some time there and talking to other caregivers who have family there to get their opinion on the care their loved one receives. At least you will know your options for when the time comes.

If your mom is open and cooperative to strangers in her home, then call a liscenced reputable care agency that can provide CNAs for certain hrs for a fee. This is usually about $20/hr and they will assist with her care, hygiene, activity, light cleaning, etc. make sure you have a contract with everything and expectations spelled out.

Certainly she will be more comfortable at home, but it isn't always the most cost effective or total peace of mind for you like a nursing home where in most cases she is safe, has medical supervision and there is more skilled care. And you don't have to deal with caring for the house, lawn, groceries etc that you do now.
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Sunflo2, thank you. Their days i get different idea to get her going but she keeps wanting to sleep. she fighting to go be with my dad, She loves restaurant but i can't lift her into the car and she has no strength to hold up her upper body. We are having a Dr. come visit us this monday. I'll keep everyone posted
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geewiz thank you for responding. I had taken her to her neurologist for help after my dad passing and he told me to take her the ER and drop her off and stop all her meds, then place her in a senior home. That was really extreme, but end stage parkinson they get very weak not able to help themselves, I agree depression is playing a big role in her not wanting to eat. She doesn't care for those boost drinks, I get her to eat a few bites of fruit and pudding. My sons are all grown they will help me move her from bed to coach when they are home. To be honest people say you don't die from Parkinson from you wish you were dead.
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Probably. She is still grieving and depressed. Is there someone, a friend, church counselor or other who could come to the home and counsel her through this grief period? She may be able to open up more to a close friend or outsider as you are too close to it with it being your dad.

I support you and would abide by her wishes regarding any force feeding. I would however continue to have snacks and small meals, protein drinks, etc available for her. Also, offer to eat with her, go out and if this is too difficult, get carry out and have a picnic, or pizza and a movie, Eric to make it different. Even invite her friends or your friends over for dinner one evening. The stimulation and "change" will do her good while she comes out of this.

This is a tough time for her and I'm sure she feels she doesn't want to go on without dad and she knows her health is fading and she just is weary and wants done....doesn't always work that way. My dad passed 3 yrs ago and my mom wishes to go as well (90) but unfortunately she is physically healthy. She eats little unless she has company or someone to make a meal and be with her...that is very infrequent, but she continues on.

I say, follow your moms lead and try to set up some local counseling or get line up her friends to come over for tea and dessert, game of cards or movie, and you be the caterer/server and let her feel normal again and slowly re-enter her " new life" without dad. Be patient and come here anytime for support.
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I don't know much about Parkinson's but with the recent passing of her husband, clearly there are multiple issues. Depression comes to mind! Perhaps she would be a candidate for a mood elevator. Are you able to come up with some different routines at home? Change the seating arrangement at meals so she is facing an empty chair once occupied by Dad. Ask friends/relatives to plan a visit, it will give her a reason to stay up longer. Any grand kids? Would they come over and play cards/puzzles or whatever for a half hour? Try some of the supplement drinks. The strawberry was always a hit with my seniors. (Boost/Ensure) Good luck.
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