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Mom lives with me in new city. She got lost once and it took police 6 hours to find her. I took keys-now she wants 'em back? She is 80 and has age related dementia (docs words). I will drive her anywhere she wants but I do work outside of home from 7 to 3. She sleeps until 10 usually but says she wants to do something other than sit all day. I gave her a list of simple chores and told her to take a walk around the block if she wants to get out.She's not real happy with me.

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If you can't keep her from driving go to landairsea website. I use one of their tracking devices on my dads car and its great. However, I still think that if you are currently in charge of the keys cut out her driving for good. If I could get my dads keys for one day I would never give them back.
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There are locators that you can wear like a bracelet, but would she wear it or leave it alone? I have also heard of GPS in shoes.
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No worries about letting her drive. I have the keys and have disconnected the battery so all loved ones still driving are safe! I told her I really don't care if that is "mean". She doesn't want to live with any of my brothers so my house, my rules!! The doc said I would be hearing from DMV after she sent the results of eval to them but nothing yet. I could sell it as I have POA but I like having a backup car when my goes into the shop. I guess my next step is to contact DMV myself.

However, I would love to know if there are any tracking devices out there.
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sorry "your mom" not "your most"
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I fail to see where letting her to continue to drive with her memory and thinking problems is showing her or others on the road any sympathy. It is putting her and others in a dangerous situation. Please stop enabling her and take away the keys. While someone who finds your most lost will probably sympathize with her situation, they are not going to feel very sympathetic if they or a loved one is injured or killed in an accident with someone who should no longer be on the road which you may or may not be considered liable for. Please, for her sake, your sake and the sake of others, don't let her drive anymore.
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imf1958, thanks for the update, didn't realize your Mom's memory issues are to a point where she doesn't remember her doctor appointment where the doctor said for her not to drive.

I have that same issue with my Dad as every once in awhile he will say he will drive... Dad had just minor age related memory issues but it's his physical decline that he tends to forget isn't driver friendly. Talking to Dad about the lack of safety when driving always went in one ear and out the other.

Now whenever my Dad says he's going to start driving again, I tell him don't forget to call the Insurance agent and tell her you will be back on the road, that way she can change her paperwork to you being the main driver and don't be surprised if your insurance fees double in cost. The words "double in cost" got his attention.
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Take the keys away and contact the DMV. They should do an evaluation and can take her license away -- I did that with my mom. She flunked the written test and they took her license away. I'm in Michigan, so they would do a three-pronged test -- written, visual and then a driving (if the first two are passed). Wherever you are they should have something comparable.
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Being in a new city was only part of the problem. She didn't think to call me or anyone for that matter until she felt there had been enough time for me to find her (in a city of over 1/2 million!!) Her logical thinking or reasoning just isn't there any more. I did take her to the Dr and had the evaluation done. The doc has a nice long talk with her and mom agreed that it is not safe to drive. I had one blissful month of her not asking for her keys. Then it started up again. I reminded her of the doctor visit. She had forgot. Now she thinks I am just making up the doc visit and evaluation. She does not want to go into a home and i promised her that so long as I am physically able to care for her at home I will. I would get her a scooter however, she could still get lost. She cannot remember how to use a cell phone so a GPS would be WAY over her. Are there locator devices that she could wear or I could put into her purse that would allow me find her if she can't remember the way home from the store? I am trying to be sympathetic as I know I could be there one day.
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I should have said lose them.
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Please don't let her drive. I have my loved ones out there. They are all I have and I don't want to loose them. A dementia patient should not be driving at all in any city.
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Are there Adult Day Care possibilities that would pick up and drop off during the week?
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GPS
Best invention EVER!
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At some point it is not about what the loved one wants but what is best for them! Allowing a driver on the road that could get lost or even worse, cause tragic accident because of their mental state, is a huge responsibility. No keys, no driving until doctor's evaluation and driving test; you could be saving another family's life!
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Do not give those car keys back to her!! In short order, you will be repeating the process. Think about assisted living.n she would be around other people, have activities and not be just sitting around alone all day.
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An 80 year-old person WITH DEMENTIA should not be driving. Nope. No way.

I'd get lost in a new city. That is really not the point. Did she reason through what she should do now? Did she try calling someone for help?

Getting lost is the very least of the driving worries for someone with dementia. It would take just a few seconds of panic, just a few seconds of forgetfulness, just a fleeting moment of unawareness to result in someone's death.

Sorry that she is not real happy with you. I can understand that. But safety comes first.

It helped my husband some to get a solo mobility device -- a scooter -- for outdoor use. He could still go to get a haircut or to the library on his own.
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lmf1958, anyone would get lost driving in a new city that's normal. Give her time to get use to the area, to learn landmarks, and to learn street names.

If your Mom can get from point A to point B safely, let her keep on driving, otherwise you become her wheels, and when one is retired they want to get out of the house as much as they can.

I've been my parents' wheels for 6 years now, and it's to the point where I had to cut back my driving by 90% because it became too much for me. But my Dad will throw on the guilt because he wants to go here and there.... losing his independence by not being able to drive has been very rough on him, and on me, too.

Put yourself in your Mom's place, imagine if you could no longer drive.
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Nope. Take her to the doctor and have him order an OT to evaluate her driving skills. She doesn't get keys until someone else says she can.
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