Firstly- my thoughts and prayers for you and your mom. My father in law was at the end and they told us the time was near. He had COPD and end stage emphysema. He previously always wanted to turn his oxygen up higher at home to be more comfortable, but wasn't allowed to as it was TOO much. In hospital (in final day) the dr granted his wish. He said it would make him go peacefully, without struggling. And so it did happen. PEACEFULLY. Not sure if your mom is on home oxygen therapy. But if so- and she is at the end, maybe you could discuss it with her and her doctor. However it does happen, may she go in peace at home and may God be with her and you both through it all and bring you comfort.
If it were me I would contact my mom's doctor and request hospice. They can come to your home so she doesn't have to go to a facility or the ER and they will make sure she is comfortable and supervise this last part of her life journey. They will also help make it easier on you and your family.
If she want to die at home then I think (providing you can cope with this) that she should have her wish. Her Drs can arrange for Oxygen in the home, and also a morphine driver which will ensure she is peaceful and not aware of any suffering. Obviously a hospice is an option but the same treatment given by you in the home is perfectly possible.
A morphine drip, any dosing for this situation really would have to be supervised at home. It wouldn't necessarily require a medical professional to be present 24/7 but it would require regular management by one and home hospice would provide that, along with training for family.
You need to call a hospice service now. I recommend Amedysis if there is one in your area . There services are legit and this will save you a lot of time trying to find a good one. Also you have to research advance directives and medical POA for you to authorize care if your Mom refuses. Advance directive is how she wants to be memorialized after she passes which saves time. If she passes at home with no medical care than its a headache of a coroner which may costs money etc.. So please call a hospice service today and if possible get her to a hospital and let them recommend one . God bless you and I am so sorry you are going though this.
Putting her into a hospice when she wants to be at home, just to avoid any coroner problems is not in my opinion doing one's best for the patient and relative. She can have treatment at home and still count as being under medical care she doesn't have to be in a facility for that to apply.
My grandma went through something similar she had a DNR but she also had it set up so she wouldn't have to go through air hunger when the end came. Unfortunately when the Drs at the emergency room decided to remove her breathing tube they missed the part about giving her the drugs that would make sure she didn't suffer. Dr was out of town and she managed to get through to a Dr that she wanted to void the DNR. This all happened before mom and I were notified so make sure everyone involved is on the same page.
They removed a breathing tube knowing she would pass without giving her medications to make that more comfortable? I am very surprised they would do that with or without orders to the contrary. Typically if they have placed a breathing tube when they shouldn't have (DNR) they wait for the families ok to remove it, it's not an easy reverse once you have taken a step like that even if it was against directive's. But you are absolutely right, you want to make sure everyone is on the same page and knows what the LO wishes and directives are.
I'm so sorry you are going through this, not being able to breath is a horrible way to suffer and I hope you will take the advice below to get in home Hospice there asap to evaluate things. They should be able to make mom more comfortable at home hopefully but certainly without the ER as she passes. Their goal wont be to prolong her life it will be to make her passing as comfortable as possible and take the concerns about how to help away from you and the family to simply allow you to spend the time left with mom not watching her suffer. I warn you they will probably need to slow her breathing so much that there wont be much visiting interaction and she may go quickly but if that means more peacefully to me that's well worth it. I'll be sending positive thoughts our way.
No she doesn't - they can come to the house and care can be given there. You cannot just shunt people into a hospice to suit you if they have expressly said they want to be at home. If you cannot cope then it may have to be considered but no one has to die in a hospice if care at home is available, their choice, and acceptable to the carer.
The real reason people don't want to die in hospital (my father didn't) is that they are afraid of tubes and drips and of being kept alive in a vegetative state, or too drugged to speak or think.
Your mum won't say this to you in so many words, but this is what she is thinking. ER would be entirely the wrong place to take her.
Try to explain to her the difference between a hospice and a hospital. The hospice just makes sure the patient is as comfortable as possible, bu there is no experimental artificial prolongation of life. If she accepts that, she can be moved to a hospice where the staff are trained to deal with every medical condition. You did not say that you have such training.
Everyone has a right to die at home if that is their wishes, but no one needs to suffer. Get in contact with your doctor, so they can recommend a hospice agency in your area (you may call them directly yourself if you are familiar with them). A coordinator will come to your home and set everything up for you. A nurse will come periodically according to the needs of the client and caregivers. Your Mom will be given comfort meds according to her needs and will pass away peacefully and respectfully.
Most people call in hospice or palliative care if someone is terminally ill.
To die not being able to breathe from COPD is an unknown, and likely to result in a very traumatic and painful death, hard on the patient, even harder on the family caring for your Mom.
She should have a DNR executed and posted on the fridge, so when you do call 911, (and you will when you see her suffering without the proper meds), the paramedics will know about her wishes, and act accordingly. She could also change her mind if able to speak.
Copy and past this in your browser. You will see many hospice options in your area. Call now. They will explain all the details. Don’t allow your mom to suffer. There is no reason she should have to go to a hospital to die or to suffer any longer.
So sorry that you are going through this with your Mom.
Your mum won't say this to you in so many words, but this is what she is thinking. ER would be entirely the wrong place to take her.
Try to explain to her the difference between a hospice and a hospital. The hospice just makes sure the patient is as comfortable as possible, bu there is no experimental artificial prolongation of life. If she accepts that, she can be moved to a hospice where the staff are trained to deal with every medical condition. You did not say that you have such training.
To die not being able to breathe from COPD is an unknown, and likely to result in
a very traumatic and painful death, hard on the patient, even harder on the family caring for your Mom.
She should have a DNR executed and posted on the fridge, so when you do call 911, (and you will when you see her suffering without the proper meds), the paramedics will know about her wishes, and act accordingly. She could also change her mind if able to speak.
if she wants to pass at home, let her.
Cambridge, WI Hospice