My mother was diagnosed with dementia a few years ago and is getting worse. My sister and I volunteered and she asked last year, if and when necessary to come and stay with her. We both live thousands of miles away, while my wealthy alcoholic out of control brother lives in the same state. (He hasn't even visited her in 3 years, while I have come and gone 5 times in 2 years and he is in total denial regarding her diagnosis, saying she'll get better...) Granted he has provided her with a beautiful home and with his capacity, it is not a hardship, surely he sees the home as an investment property, as he has many throughout the state. His alcohol abuse turns up the fire on his absolute need to power and control everyone, everywhere. Recently our mother fell, hurting herself and was placed in a rehab hospital for 2 months and at her request, I came to care for her dog while she was in rehab. As she did not want him to go to my brother's veterinarian clinic, she wanted her dog to stay home. In order to do so, I had to bring my own therapy dog at my expense. I love my mother and am grateful to be with her and have spent almost everyday with her for the 5 1/2 weeks she remained in rehab.The social worker at the facility informed me, in order to release her, the family had to come to an agreement about who was going to be taking her home and caring for her. I asked him at that time for a mediator, for we are a totally dysfunctional family that has been incommunicado for a decade. My brother started in, with his cruel demeanor, sending drunken emails (didn't spell his own name correctly) to me and CCing her friends and the social worker at the facility, giving me and everyone orders from his "head" quarters. With that email, the social worker got the message as did her friends and church friends and realized he had to mediate a conference call. Her PCP had ordered that she required at least 3-4 months of 24/7 help and best case and scenario was for it to be (me) family, social worker concurred. My poor mother was so confused, the three of us were anxiously awaiting the call. Amazingly everyone was on their best behavior as the social worker laid out the MD's orders and agreed it was best for our mother. All agreed. As soon as she was safely released, I have been informed to leave his residence in 2 weeks. Surely he has POA and I should and would like to have guardianship, as my mother and I are close and adore each other. However with the life long dysfunction, jealousy, and now the extreme alcohol abuse and control issues, all are very saddening and I am unable to afford thousands of dollars to fight his millions...I truly believe this is a case of elder abuse in the emotional, mental and psychological abuse of my mothers request and wishes. It's breaking my heart...Where do her need and wants fit in and how do I fulfill them?