My mom has been used to keeping cash on hand, just in case. I moved her from NY to an AFL in VA near me 4 weeks ago. When I moved her in I gave her $85 in cash, of her own money. I took her bank cards, and insurance cards out of her wallet, and only left the cash in it. Two weeks ago she called and told me she was out of money. She claimed that she took a couple of trips, one was on a plane, and spent all her cash. My mother has not participated in any activities at the ALF, so these events did not occur. My mom has Lewy Body Dementia, so she's subject to delusions and hallucinations and is often confused about general events. She spends the majority of her time in her room, constantly looking for things, moving them from place to place, and then not finding them at all. One day I went to pick her up to take her shopping and she couldn't find her room key. I told the nursing staff on duty and they said she had on a particular coat while she was out in the hallway earlier. I checked the pockets and there was the room key and the $85. Since then, I haven't been able to find the money anywhere.
When I told her that she didn't need any cash, because I would be the only one taking her shopping, she yelled at me and told me that she will not allow me to keep her own money from her.
I took her out to Target over the weekend and she insisted on getting cash back after her purchase. I told her the most she could get was $30, but she was not satisfied with that response and starting telling the cashier her sob story. I have durable power of attorney and a medical power of attorney and have been handling her finances (paying bills etc.) for two years. I convinced her to sell her co-op, so she has the proceeds from that sale and her pension to live on, but it won't last more than a few years paying rent in the ALF.
Any suggestions on how to handle this situation and not succumb to my mom's tirades over giving her cash to lose would be extremely helpful.