She also refuses her meds and has hit, spit and slugged the people that care for her. Today, she shoved a ladies wheelchair out of her way. The poor woman is a quadraplegic, and was very frightened. Mom also has been scratching herself very deeply and causing bleeding and sores on her arms and flicks the blood on the staff.

The nursing home called me 12 times today in hopes that I could calm her. She is so angry that she is there. She won't listen to anyone and cannot be calmed. What can I do to make her safe, and those who care for her safe?

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Wow! I am so sorry about this state of affairs. You once were good buddies with your mother. Now look at it. Dementia is so very cruel.

I know that not every one agrees with this concept, but I think it is time for medications to calm your mother down, for her sake first of all and then for the safety of the people around her. It may take a while to get the dosage right. I'm sure you don't want to turn her into a zombie, but the present situation is untenable. Can you work with her doctor or the care center doctor and come up with some solutions to try? If a drug is decided upon, then the next issue is how to get her to take it. Discuss that with the doctor, too.

Again, my heart goes out to you. This is terribly sad.
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