Hi Linda, You'll have to accept that fact that she can't recognize herself. She may even be frightened by "that person." The reason is that in her mind she is a young person, maybe in her twenties or even teens. This "old" person in the mirror exists in a time that she can't remember. It's tough to cover mirrors, I know. If you can't do that, then the only thing I can think of is to say, when she asks about that person in the mirror, that the person is the cleaning lady or a nurse or something to that effect. Don't try to convince her that she is this person, because that will only stress her. If you just shrug it off and act like the person belongs there, maybe she won't get so upset. This is only one of the many challenges you're facing. I hope others on the forum will jump in if they have ideas. Take care, Carol
Find a movie of an actress, she can relate to or liked, from her times, who has acted as an old woman in a movie. Show her the movie & let her know that that's how the actress looks like now or women her age look like, and there's nothing wrong with it. Say it as a matter of fact. Believe me, it worked for my MIL.
You could also say about the reflection "Yes, she comes around her quite a bit, but she's very nice and friendly, and she'll wave back if you wave to her!"
I too agree - your mother is in a different time that only she knows. My husband suddenly decided not to shave anymore, which I couldn't understand. Then I watched him looking at himself in the mirror and saw he was utterly lost by what looked back at him. He looked very much like his father, except my husband had a full head of beautiful white hair, while his father at that age was almost bald. My husband never said anything, but from that moment on, I offered to shave him and he happily accepted, because he always hated not being clean shaven. It's a complicated and difficult road to walk when you are walking with someone with dementia. Things change on a daily basis, nothing is ever a given - but sometimes you can pick up little clues from their behavior. Take good care of yourself, and try to divert your mother when she looks at the mirror. Since short term memory is nonexistent, as soon as you turn her away from the mirror she will have forgotten what she saw.
There's never a good reason to argue a point with a person who has dementia. What difference does it make if Mom doesn't believe she see's herself in the mirror? At one point my husband asked me if I recalled a certain store that we'd gone to. Sure. "Well I slept there all last week" he said. I merely went along with his delusion and said," Wow, were you warm enough?" Just give any reasonable answer and do not correct a person with dementia. They are dealing with enough confusion . Try to ease their fears. Hugs, Corinne
I went through it with my Mom also because I have a full length mirror on the back of the bathroom door. I tried explaining it, but she could not understand and I found it to be a bit scary and confusing for her. I covered it with a towel everytime I went in there, still do actually. With this disease I learned from the Alzheimer Association that "the customer is always right" so just go with anything she says, she will forget it anyway, and it keeps them happy. To me thats all that matters. Even when I wash my Mom or do anything I tell her she did a great job, she is all smiles and sometimes can outter out "really?" with a grin, priceless.
I agree totally with the answer above. I have dealt with similar demented delusions of my 94 year old mother. You cannot, nor should you try to, change your mother's reality. The change must come from you. Just listen to your mother, remain calm, and reassure her that everything is fine. It takes practice, but it will improve your own mental state.
A class for Alzheimer's and Dementia really helped me to see that her world is hers and now you have to fit into it. If she says black is white... Black is white! Don't argue it makes her feel stupid and she will not trust to tell or share anything with you. If you have children you now have another. Love her!!! She needs your understanding and love more than you ever needed hers growing up.
You'll have to accept that fact that she can't recognize herself. She may even be frightened by "that person." The reason is that in her mind she is a young person, maybe in her twenties or even teens. This "old" person in the mirror exists in a time that she can't remember.
It's tough to cover mirrors, I know. If you can't do that, then the only thing I can think of is to say, when she asks about that person in the mirror, that the person is the cleaning lady or a nurse or something to that effect. Don't try to convince her that she is this person, because that will only stress her. If you just shrug it off and act like the person belongs there, maybe she won't get so upset.
This is only one of the many challenges you're facing. I hope others on the forum will jump in if they have ideas.
Take care,
Carol
Believe me, it worked for my MIL.
It's a complicated and difficult road to walk when you are walking with someone with dementia. Things change on a daily basis, nothing is ever a given - but sometimes you can pick up little clues from their behavior.
Take good care of yourself, and try to divert your mother when she looks at the mirror. Since short term memory is nonexistent, as soon as you turn her away from the mirror she will have forgotten what she saw.
At one point my husband asked me if I recalled a certain store that we'd gone to. Sure. "Well I slept there all last week" he said. I merely went along with his delusion and said," Wow, were you warm enough?"
Just give any reasonable answer and do not correct a person with dementia. They are dealing with enough confusion . Try to ease their fears. Hugs, Corinne
I have dealt with similar demented delusions of my 94 year old mother.
You cannot, nor should you try to, change your mother's reality. The change must come from you. Just listen to your mother, remain calm, and reassure her that everything is fine. It takes practice, but it will improve your own mental state.
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