My mom is FINALLY moving out of our nursing home to her new one (~2k miles near my sister). I've been waiting on this for over 5 yrs, she was supposed to be moved 4 yrs ago. I finally just up and decided "We're moving, we've waited long enough. Time to sell the house, we put our lives on hold long enough." (Naturally, after I claimed that I was moving with/out my mother...random family said they could magically relocate her!)
I've been preparing all of the paperwork for her release and making sure she is actually ready to be moved. This included calling the new nursing home multiple times, making sure she has an updated safe travel document, all of her stuff from my house is with her and ready, etc. Lots of work.
I have also been dealing with family drama from my Aunt (classic narcissist found out I was moving). This same aunt will be flying out here to move my mom. However, aunt has been creating a LOT of drama.
I am pregnant again (due April 15th - this is our LAST child) and once again not walking much. So, for the last 4 days, I've shuffled all of my mom's stuff (while on crutches) to her room in her nursing home. With zero help. My husband is currently in TX again (military - retires in 3 months).
So, I had photos and stuff from my kids and my sister/her kids in my mom's room. This same aunt convinced one of the nurses via phone (doesn't live anywhere near here) to have them thrown out. For the last 6-8 months she has been trying to convince my mother that I am basically worthless, do nothing for her, and that my mom should just be moved to a random state (nowhere near my sister) instead. Which has been wonderful (basically a LOT of verbal abuse via my mom). Same aunt also convinced one of the nurses to take a photo of my mom while she was recovering from pneumonia (2 years ago), and send it to her. I am my mom's POA and never approved of photos being taken. This aunt held onto this photo for 2 years and now is cycling it through the family as a "recent photo". So, to combat that...I went pretty much everyday this week to take photos of my mother and how GOOD she looks. (Aunt is claiming current nursing home abuses my mom) So, I've been trying to stop Aunt's drama along the way - as well as do everything else for both moves.
So, I'm bringing in the last of my mom's junk to the nursing home. It took me about 2.5 hours to move 3-4 tiny boxes and some blankets. While I am bringing in this stuff, my mom is basically flipping out and cursing at me the entire time. She is just full out screaming at me - I am ignoring her and telling her she can't talk to me like that.
I'm just trying to get it all in the room and make sure that I do NOT have to come back. Every time I'd bring in a box/something, my mom is laying in her bed pressing her call button for a nurse while REAMING into me. You know, my mom HAS to be the victim (her latest thing is that I hit her when no one is looking, mom is also a narcissist). I'm just here to bring her crap in as fast as possible and get out of dodge.
So, I'm trying my best to ignore my mom's flip out and put her stuff in her room. New nurse is basically just monitoring the crap outta me. Then, my mom asks for her picture blanket. (This was sent in the mail by aunt with a bunch of candy that my mom could choke on - she has no teeth, so I had to throw/give away most of it. Aunt obviously has no idea how to take care of my mother). So, I go down to the laundry room and grab the blanket to bring back to her.
Then, I look at the blanket. I am livid, but don't say anything to my mom about it. While my mom was screaming at me, she is telling me how on the blanket is has her REAL family on it. There are about 30-35 pictures of people my mom has never met before (my cousin has a newborn baby, it's on there. A picture of my aunt getting married 30+ yrs ago, etc). There are ONLY 2-3 pictures of my sister and her kids. There are none of me/my kids or my brother. I barely know who any of these people are, and my mom certainly has never met them. It's another dig/insult/power play from the aunt.
So, I called my sister and my sister tells me just to keep the blanket at my house until my mom moves. So, I take the blanket. Not even 30 secs later, I'm near the door trying to leave. The head of the facility stops me with the social worker. They start lecturing me about how I should just let my mom keep the blanket and how mean I am.
45 mins later, they inform me that my mom wants to press charges against me for stealing. I told them to let her. I'll actually bring the blanket back today (was going to add pictures of her REAL family on there but not going to do that anymore), but I am DONE visit/seeing her until they require my signature to sign her out come move day.
Last time I posted here, you all told me to avoid my mom. I am finally taking that advice. I am refusing to go back, help with her move, or even see her now. I'm just done.