Our best friend's 92 y o mother is in a nursing home (X ~3 years). She has dementia and has suffered many falls and fractures over the years but is able to pivot into a chair. Her son died yesterday in a hospital (was there 10 months except a for a few two week or less unsuccessful stays at home. His mom rarely remembered he was even in the hospital though she was retold (honestly/briefly) whenever she asked where he was. I think I've read that it's recommended a parent or spouse be told once of their loved one's passing. Should this be before the funeral? I am capable of transporting her to the funeral home, or Mass if need be if this is what the family would want.