Today’s her birthday & said she wanted a quiet day, so no lunch or dinner with us. I know she doesn’t cook anymore. DH and I took her at her word and stopped by, unannounced, but wasn’t home. Left a balloon in her door. Went to the diner - surprise - she was there.

She talked about getting home last night thinking it was nighttime but saw some lights on in neighboring houses. Said she thought they were starting their day, so she sat on the couch. She made coffee (hasn’t drank that since her twenties, let alone made it) and went back to sitting, but felt tired. She thinks she fell asleep. At waking, she looked at one of her clocks that said 9am, so she thought she could be CERTAIN it was 9am by putting on a tv show she KNOWS is on at 9am. She deducted, at that point, it really was 9am. Is this sundowning?

Her voice was so very hoarse. Like when you are out all night, partying/drinking. She was happy to get a birthday card from us and opened it at the diner. She already had her meal and had her take-out containers packed and was waiting for a waiter to take her home. DH asked her numerous times if we could take her home, so she didn’t have to wait for waiter, as he had just gotten another table. She said no. She sounded a bit slower in her speech, nails not done, hair messy and not curled.

I’m just down… Thanks for listening.

With your mom refusing to go to doctor until she needs medication refills, she probably suspects something is going on. Ignoring a medical problem never makes it go away, just allows it to get worse. Maybe you could point this out and, for safety's sake, take preventative measures. (Whatever that may mean.)
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Reply to MaryNTN

Sundowning happens in late afternoon. If someone has been questioning Dementia in a LO, this is the time it will show its ugly head. It can be just confusion or saying weird things or being uncontrollable.

I agree, Mom could have had a ministroke.
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Reply to JoAnn29

If your Mom has dementia, she is at the very early stages of it. A person with dementia would not have taken all the steps your Mom did to confirm the time. That is far more reasoning ability than some people have normally.

I would get your Mom to a doctor. It is possible that she had a small stroke or something that happened to that part of the brain. Don't let it go. If she had a stroke, you'd want to see what you can do to prevent another one. If you let it go, chances are that she'll have something more severe in the near future.
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Reply to ChoppedLiver

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Reply to Katsmihur

In addition, could be a UTI or a small stroke.

Happy birthday to mom!
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Reply to BarbBrooklyn
Katsmihur Sep 11, 2022
I agree. It is something to absolutely consider, especially as one with high BP & on cholesterol meds. She had an aneurysm bleed many years ago and made a ‘miraculous recovery’ per the neurosurgeon. So, there’s that.

Unfortunately she is not going to her primary, until she needs meds. She’s afraid they will ‘throw her in a home’, and is staying away from doctors. Nothing I say gets through and she doesn’t talk to me.
People living with Alzheimer's and other dementia may have problems sleeping or experience increased confusion, anxiety, agitation, pacing and disorientation beginning in the late afternoon or at dusk and continuing throughout the night (referred to as sundowning). Although the exact cause is unknown, these changes result from the disease’s impact on the brain.

My mother's Sundowning started around 3pm every day and went on until she fell asleep. Your mother sounds like she has her circadian rhythms turned around, and/or days and nights confused. This is also common with dementia. You can get her an Alzheimer's clock on Amazon which is great until the dementia gets very advanced and then nothing makes sense anymore. The clock will tell her if it's day or night along with the time and day of the week, month and year.

I hate dementia with everything in me. I'm sorry you're both going thru this process. I wish there was something to say that would make you feel better, too, like what I have no idea. I will send you a hug and a prayer for strength to deal with all the stress and pain that lies ahead.
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Reply to lealonnie1
Katsmihur Sep 11, 2022
Thank you so much.
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