I need sleep...What can I do to get my Mom to sleep on her restless and painful nights?

Hi. I took a half of a Melantonin supplement for mysefl on those occasions when I can't sleep. I only did it a few times. Each time I hated the way I felt the next morning.
At the senior center I was illuminated by someone there. "Oh, you got the Meloantonin Hangover!" No thanks. I like Bach Flower Rescue Remedy, or SleepyTime Tea by Celestial Seasonings, or Tension Tamer tea. What works the best is playing Steve Halpern on a CD, or make your own Pandora Radio "station" of Steve Halpern. It will play for an hour with a few annoying commercials but it is very relaxing, and then it turns off by itself if you don't touch it. Or you an set a station of music with one of the New Age stations on itunes. Or how about one of those white noise machines you can buy online? I have one that cost about $10.00
Good luck.

That's good to know! I, personally, use herbs for some things and also have used melatonin on occasion. It's always good to know about any side possible effects just like prescriptions!
Carol

Thank you for letting me know about the Nightmares with Melatonin...I had NO CLUE!!!! ....I do appreciate you letting me know!!! THANK YOU and BLESSINGS TO YOU!!!

people who are prone to nightmares, should not take melatonin. It will cause more nightmares. If they can remember to tell you they are having nightmares, stop the melatonin and go to valerian or passion flower. try spraying the pillow with lavender(small amt) or rose water-these are both calming

They have a new depends out that looks just like undies...Free samples on line too..at Depends...See about getting a free pair..in our area the HOSPICE THRIFT STORES stock diapers that are Donated to them..tons of them..check to see if there is a Thrift store in your area..they are less than half the price...and are NEW sealed in the original Bags...Also Hospice will LOAN out medical walkers and other things for visiting Folks with disabilities that cannot bring with them everything they need...Lots of TEAS at Bedtime..will have you needing depends..or attends..LOL..If you want her to sleep all night..She can only have so many NAPS during the day....or if she naps during the day..YOU do TOO, but try to get her schedule working for you both...No naps after 4PM ...keep her awake...then she has to sleep at night..If she really needs that Nap ...that is one thing....Does she like crafts? Does she like to COLOR or Draw or Do pencil colors...It is never to late to awaken the hidden talent..there is even sculpty clay to design little things and bake them..give her something imaginative to do..or a pen and paper to write poetry..or a letter to someone..get her a packet of Cards to send out to friends and encourage others..maybe Grand children ...People in church..Or let her write a story about her life..each day...Then each day you will have made a memory...a colored page, a pencil drawing, a story of her life..cards sent to others will end up being cherished...little things made of clay today...will be treasures in the future...

See if the MD will OK Turmeric/Curium as an anti-inflammatory. Be aware some of the suggestions given are also blood thinners, so again, check with the MD. A rubdown on the most painful joint areas (lower back, hip, ankles, etc) with Arnica may help. Be sure to assure her that it will help, because a large part of the relief is from the touching and her mind. I agree with the electric blanket. I have an electric mattress pad (I don't wet the bed, yet) and it helps with my aches, even in the summer when I use it but no covers! (The heat rises through your body). I have one under dad plus under a water proof pad, mattress protector, a gel foam topper and THEN the electric mattress pad. House hasn't burned down yet in about 15 years between my use, then his.

Passion Flower tablets or tea might help both of you sleep better also. Tazo makes a pretty and yummy one.

Ask her doctor to put her on Trazodone. I am on 50 mg and it knocks me out for the entire night. It is also prescribed for depression.

In the winter, try keeping her house a bit warmer. If she has arthritis, the cold will aggravate it and make it hard to get comfy, especially at night. Also keep her bundled up warm. She might not be able to complain about being cold because, with dementia, she might not recognize it.

A confirming anecdote: my sister in law never set her heater above 65 degrees. When we visited, I asked if we could keep it warmer so my hands don't ache. She set it to 68 at night and 70 in the daytime. After we left, she turned it back down. She wondered why her hip had quit hurting while we were there but started up again after we left. One of her friends remembered her complaining about having to turn up the heat while we were there and told her to try turning up the heat again. That fixed it. Now she keeps her house warmer, although not as warm as my grandmother, who kept her apartment at 80 degrees!

I'm sorry that you're dealing with this, I would be frustrated too. You could give her some chamomile tea in the evenings. It's very gentle and could help calm her nerves.

I have to agree with the melatonin suggestions, I give my dad 3mg, or sometimes a little more, of the liquid mixed with juice, or sometimes with hot chocolate, and it works like a charm.

Tylenol PM has Benadryl, which is on the bad list for elders, but maybe melatonin or anything else safe to help with sleep would be ok, as well as pain medication. You could even try some foods that are more sedating like warm milk and turkey sandwich, and some people swear by aromatherapy with lavender oil, etc. But if the easy OTC stuff does not work...well, of all people, doctors should know that you can go without sleep night after night, and without intervention you fall into the trap of sleep-wake reversal

thanks everyone for all these suggestions. I have gotten her to sleep a little better in the last couple days. Last night she slept from 11pm to 7am which hasn't happened in a long time. We were both agitated today but we went shopping at Walmart LOL! I will be going to doctor in the next few days after holiday so I will ask about this natural supplements. I get more information from her pharmacist than i do the doctor anyway. I wish she could live in a warmer climate its very cold here now for the next couple months. My pain is horrible at 40 I can just imagine how bad her pain is.

Don't know if it will help you, but those cheap little color changing led things really fascinate my aunt. I keep several and change out which one occasionally, but when I turn them on they seem to hypnotize her, she then goes to sleep without the getting up and tearing up the house. Might be worth a try, they are usually available about $3 and if you catch them right after christmas on half that...

A toasty warm electric blanket .ask the doctor about a NATURAL Sleep aid...Melatonin they have it in walmart in a liquid form..under 5.00..taken with B12 liquid it acts quicker..but ASK HER DOCTOR FIRST...to get the go ahead..Sometimes natural herbs are not recommended with certain other antibiotics..like for cataract surgery eye drops...ect...it is always a good feeling to go to BED ...feeling like a WINNER maybe Play a few games of Checkers..Hang man or even TIC Tac toe...LET HER WIN...be amazed at her skills..but overly..and let her know she is a winner..If you are Christian...Say a bed time prayer with her..that GOD give her every blessing from his heart and hand to her life...Kind words to sleep on..feeling like a winner and a little dose of sugar coated medicine..will help everyone get a good nights rest...Just be sure...bladder is empty..as I take the Products I told you about..and they will gently put you to sleep in a natural peace...and ez to wake up too...For pain..see if the doctor will allow her to take Prickly Pear Extract..for inflammation.. I take this for mine...I do not need any other meds..this is it..these 3..and a vitamin..Without the Prickly pear extract I would be suffering..it is not a cure..but one you start it and feel better..the quality of life is good...it cost me about 50.00 for 3 bottle on amazon..they last over 4 months..I am getting my moneys worth.....I can do so much more!!!! HOPE this helps..and always ASK a DOCTOR FIRST for taking and meds..even over the counter! Merry Christmas

Mom still sundowns despite being on generic Seroquel and Aricept, however the behaviors are much less intense and she does eventually go to sleep and stays asleep all night. This is a HUGE improvement for both of us. God bless.

My Alzheimer's mom would often roam in the middle of the night and several times leave the house. After finding her she always seemed very agitated and anxious about something. I first started giving her Melatonin Ultra (mfg: Schiff) from Costco, a natural sleep and calming agent which helped a bit but after mentioning it to the doctor he prescribed a very low dose of Celexa (citalopram) which was a blessing and virtually ended the anxiety and roaming. God Bless.

I'm so sorry your mom is keeping you awake at night. Try this simple solution that does not involve a habit-forming drug. Get some Melatonin at any Walmart for several dollars, give her one about 7 p.m. and she will sleep. Try that. If she needs another, give it to her. I don't know exactly which brain injury is affected, but this should work. Hope you get some rest!

Please consider a Naturopath and other natural aids: supplements, herb teas, and other natural remedies if your elder parent is open to it, that is.

No, Tylenol PM has an antihistamine that will raise blood pressure. If she is on seizure meds and BP meds I suspect drug interactions are part of the problem. My sister is on both, and we have to be very careful to give her the Lamictal and Keppra an HOUR before ANY other medications, even vitamins, so those go in at 7am and 7pm. At 11 AM we give the BP meds. Vitamins at 4 PM with dinner. Finally her Cymbalta at 8PM. Never give aspirin before seizure meds, it will block them from working. Antihistamines not only raise blood pressure, they also raise seizure activity. Same with steroids like dexamethasone. Lorazepam (Ativan) is prescribed PRN (as needed) for breakthrough anxiety and spikes in blood pressure. I have been my sister's guardian for 20 years, and the timing and separating of medications has always been a critical factor for her. Talk to the pharmacist about what should go in first, and how to space out medications. They know more than the MD's, for sure.

In addition to what Carol said, I would like to emphasize to you that you talk to the new doctor directly. If you don't feel free to be brutally honest with him/her in front of your Mother, ask for some time alone with him. Be completely honest about how you are suffering, too. I think caregivers are afraid to appear weak, and that keeps them from getting all the help that's available. I don't know if that's true in your situation, but it might be. Take all the time you need, and describe exactly what you are coping with so the doctor is motivated to do everything possible. Don't gloss over how she wrecks the house or the very high level of anxiety that she's experiencing. Leaving the office with a pat on the head and 'you're doing fine' is not an option. You know what I mean? I'm sorry, sometimes it takes eye contact and emphasis to get their attention. Keep us posted, Sweetie. I admire how patient and courageous you are. I hope and pray that things get better for you and Mom.

I think your idea of seeing another doctor is a good one. While it's possible that there isn't more that can be done for your mother's pain because of all the medications she's already on, another opinion can't hurt.

My mother had two hip replacements and did well, but she was too frail for the surgery when she needed her knee done. The bone on bone pain in her knees was excruciating. I cringe when I think of the pain your mom must be in.

Pain relief won't "cure" your mom’s Sundowning, but she still should have pain relief. Because a person has dementia doesn't mean that pain relief isn't important.

Another doctor may be able to look at the situation from a different angle. If nothing changes, you'll know you did all that you could.
Take care,
Carol

I asked the doctor she told me there wasn't anything for sundowners. She is anxious almost daily its even worst on the weekend when she doesn't go to daycare. I kn ow how to keep her entertained but some days i run out of things to help keep her calm. She has arthritis from head to toe and after hip surgery the pin isnt in all the way and i talked to orthopedic surgeon and said there is nothing that can be done and that i was doing good just continue....but i don't feel like im doing good. i tried aleve on her because thats what works with me but she takes meds for seizures and high blood pressure. doctor refused to give her sleeping pills because of her falls she has. but i'm tempted to try tylenol pm on saturdays where she doesn't have to go anywhere the following morning at a certain time. i may have to take her an hour away from home to the univeristy hospital because i'm fed up with all the doctors here in quad city area

I, too, am surprise that your mom isn't getting better pain management. Just because she can't complain about what's wrong (she may not be able to figure it out), doesn't mean that she shouldn't have the best pain control possible. Arthritis pain can be excruciating.

Pain medications won't help her Sundowner's, but if she's more comfortable she may sleep better once she gets to sleep. You may need to see a doctor other than the neurologist for this.

I agree that it's terrific for your sister to see what you are coping with. I hope she can help you find some ways to get needed rest. ADC is wonderful, but you need someone to stay the night on a regular basis, as well, if your mom can't sleep.
Take care,
Carol

I'm surprised the doctor isn't treating her pain. She is most likely restless because she is in pain and there are a multitude of solutions for that. It might be time to change doctors. Have you tried OTC pain/sleep medication? The only one I can think of is Tylenol PM, but there are probably others. Alleve is good for inflammation and lasts longer than the usual 4-6 hours. Ativan (not an OTC) is good for anxiety and sundowning. You need a doctor that will step up, not just let you deal with this on your own. It's good that your sister is getting to know what you go through. Keep us posted, and good luck.