She insists on a funeral.

If nothing was signed by your mother then there is no contract, per se. My brother & I prepaid mom’s funeral. At the meeting with the staff at the funeral home we signed a contract and put down half the cost.

Maybe your mother wants to take a few a few days to think it over. She may very well be having “sticker shock”or forced to face her immortality. Revisit the conversation in a few days & explain what is necessary for her wishes to be implemented- money.

All I can say is preplanning the funeral was the best thing we ever did (my brother & I).
My mother passed at 3am at her NH. The staff contacted the funeral director for us and they took my mother from the NH to the funeral home before 6a.
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Reply to Shane1124

Yes. You can change it. Can mom afford the funeral she wants? I would have her pre-pay for as much as possible. And keep in mind, everything you purchase through the mortuary and cemetery will cost MORE. You can save $ by getting the casket elsewhere. If she is to be buried, it will be much cheaper to purchase a headstone online. We saved over $1000 on my MILs headstone by ordering it online.

if mom cannot afford the funeral she picked out, then changes should be made to fit the budget.
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Reply to worriedinCali

Just based on your post, to me, she's telling you what she'd like. I know, I know, duh. But my mom told me what she wanted after she passed, though she didn't pay for it the time. We all made sure all that happened.
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Reply to MountainMoose

Does she have the money to pay for it?

If yes, then by all means fulfill her wishes.

If no, how does she suppose a funeral will be paid for.

You need to talk to her about payment and preplanning and that does not mean what took place with you footing the bill.
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Reply to Isthisrealyreal

If no contract was signed and nothing was paid for then you were just window shopping. So yes it can be changed.
I know funerals are very expensive (I work at one). Even for the employees they are not cheap. If I were you talk to her about it, explain the prices for everything. I'm sure you got a somewhat expectation of what it might cost (prices change daily like fuel prices). Cremation is on the rise (due to the low cost) with the scattering of ashes (permit needed) and having a memorial service (after everything is done) at a friends house is popular right now. Buying property ahead of time saves lots of time and money. Also, when you make these decisions before they NEED to be made its a lot easier emotionally because you don't buy the things you really don't need... been there have done it. I have discussed this with my Daddy when my Mama died he has left it up to me.
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Reply to hgnhgn

I will ask as well - why would you? Could you give a little more information?

Clearly, that’s no answer to your question, however.

Being no expert, I would guess that if no contract had been signed nor money exchanged - the answer would be: Maybe.

Is your mother married? Are there other siblings with any “say so”. Lastly, are you named as executor to her estate once your mother passes?
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Reply to Rainmom

Why would you want to change what she wants? And usually when preplanning I think some money is put down or an insurance policy handed over and both put in a trust.
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Reply to JoAnn29
worriedinCali Mar 22, 2019
Why would she want to change what mom wants? Probably because mom didn’t pay for it, can’t afford it and the OP herself can’t afford it!

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