This has been going on for as long as I can remember. My mom constantly picks on my dad. Anything he does isn't good enough. Anything he does isn't fast enough. If my mom asks, more like demands, that my dad do the dishes, if he doesn't get on it within a minute she will start doing it herself and during the entire process complain about how my dad doesn't do anything. The thing is, without being asked, my dad does the dishes most of the time. This happens about many things all day long. My grandmother lives with my parents. If my dad helps my grandmother with something, mom will mumble that he helps his mom more than he helps her. From time to time, I've stepped in to defend my dad. Of late, I've told my dad not to take it anymore. What happens is that it then spins way out of control with my mom screaming incoherently at the top of her lungs. A primal scream. In between shes lashes out that everyone is ganging up on her. Today my dad said he was sorry even though I don't think he did anything wrong. My mom screams back that it was too late for that.
After the yelling my mom crawls into bed and cries for about an hour. After mom settles down, I try to talk to her about how she can express herself without all the yelling. As long as I don't talk about the incident she is perfectly calm like nothing has happened. She even denies anything has happened just an hour ago. She claims not to know what I'm talking about. If I push it a little more, she starts to scream and yell "I don't want to talk about it." with her eyes close like a 2 year old throwing a tantrum. It's impossible to have an adult conversation with her. I said that to her to today and her response was that of course everything is her fault.
I can't stand it anymore. Dad is brow beaten. I've thought about having her see a mental health professional. I've brought this up many times and she throws a tantrum yelling that we think she's crazy. The big problem is that english is not her native language and I can't find anyone that speaks it within 150 miles. There is a psychiatrist in Sacramento that does speak her native language that says she can have sessions over Skype but I'm not sure that would help. To everyone outside the immediate family, mom acts like the perfect mom and like everything is wonderful in the family. It's an act. I think it would take a while in person to get to the point where she drops the act, if ever. Over Skype, I don't see her being very responsive. What to do?