This has become her daily routine. She has no concept of time and thinks the food has been in the fridge for 10 days when in reality not even 48 hours. There is no talking to her and she also doesn't wash her hands anymore. Notes don't help. Pleading with her is a waste of time. I am at my wits end. On a positive note I did take the car away and we have an appointment with the neurologist on Thursday. Hope we can get her there as she refuses to get any medical help and will not take any meds. Dad is in denial and believes she will get better no matter how much I tell him it's only going to get worse. It breaks my heart. She is killing both of us...
Sometimes the most poignant displays of love occur when one or the other spouse becomes ill or grows old. Young love is so different from old love, the latter often being so much more tender, selfless and compassionate.
I hope the neuro can offer some suggestions - will dad be joining you for this appointment ? How is his health ?
Your mom's behavior is not unusual and I'm afraid will not get better - it may be time to bring in xtra help
I let mom stay alone while I worked long hours only to end up in a crises - it was a long 8 years and the past year has not been much better now that she's in a care facility
Dementia is tough on everyone
Let us know what the doctor says
Thanks to everyone for your input. I feel better knowing we are not alone in this hell. Will post after we see the neurologist on Thursday.
It sounds like your father is still alive but in denial. If you can get help for your Mom, maybe you can bring him with you and he will listen to the doctor. Either he learns to monitor her, or she will need someone to do it.
It's not easy to deal with the things that they get in their heads. What they think and imagine can become absolute fact to them. If you try to change their mind, you are wrong. I've lived with this reality for 7 years now and don't even try to reason anymore. I just work around things the best way I can.
For canned goods, either buy smaller cans or immediately put the remainder after opening a can in a freezer container, mark it and freeze it. (I get the impression she's only going through the refrigerator portion, nor the freezer.)
Buy milk or juices in smaller containers, if possible.
For cooked food, do the same things. If you can minimize the amount of food in the frig, you minimize the loss. So focus on decreasing the amount of food available to be discarded.
Bravo on taking away the car, that is great news. Now you will need to find alternate transportation for your parents, or drive them yourself.
My parents were also in denial of their age and abilities, refused caregivers and refused to move from a home with a lot of stairs. I had to wait for a major crises to happen, which is the norm for many of us grown children.