Why does Mom think she can live by herself when she can't manage her underwear?

You have to learn the art of distraction with her. Don't argue with her, just distract by changing the subject to something pleasant to her. Or how beautiful it is outside, and let's go for a walk... You know her loves and what makes her smile. It is an art, but once you master it, you are invaluable to her!

Why are you even asking a "why?" question about a person with dementia? You will never get an answer, so stop trying to find one. Just love her for the time she has remaining and be satisfied she brought you into this life.

my mother has been for 6 months in a care home because of dementia and constant falls. Every morning she packs all her clothes to go home, forgets the apartment has been sold, and calls me to go and pick her up to drive her back. Every morning I explain the whole situation again and she is amazed and indignant that she cannot live alone. The only way she will accept it is to tell her that the doctor has insisted that she stay where she is, and that he will say when she can leave.

Got it! My mother has AD and is about the same level. Very difficult time. You are wise to see what's happening and get support or at least prepare for the next level. So must I. Prayers are sent your way for remaining strong.

Ohm she thinks she can live by herself because she has dementia...her brain is broken beyond repair.

Where is she living? She sounds as though she needs a higher level of care, and perhaps some meds to calm her.

Hel42931 You definitely need help here. If she is using pads because she needs them then there IS some incontinence. She also appears to be in total denial about her level of ability now. A zip backed onesie would sort out the meds because she wouldnt be able to reach her back but she might be very bad tempered about that so be forewarned. If her sores are bed sores then you perhaps need to put meds on but use something like Melolin Low-adherent Absorbent Dressing which will stop the meds getting on the clothes but also protect the wound - hope that helps a little but its time for others to review her and make decisions if she is deemed unable

She has got to the stage where she can no longer reason so there is no point in trying to talk to her just tell her.

She can insist all she wants...her driving days are over & living on her own is done too. Ask doc about medication that might calm her.