Why does Mom think she can live by herself when she can't manage her underwear?

I have to agree with SD on the progression - I have posted before on this - only one thing is certain... the disease will progress... how and when are individual and not predictable. You cannot say in two years this will be the situation. It will depend on the individual, the type of dementia (s), other underlying health problems, their social environment, the support they get from within and outside the family and the anxiety they experience as well as all the other things like age, gender, lifestyle present and past, nutrition, exercise. My mum seems to go in stages huuuuuuuuge drop plateaus out, progresses a tiny bit then another huuge drop. My friends mum wason a steady decline but then has for the last 3 years plateaued. Sorry if thats not what you want to hear but it is the darned reality of this hideous hideous disease that takes and takes and gives so little in return

Sdbike, wow, thanks for sharing your journey with your mom. My mom hasn't been diagnosed with any memory loss, but some.of the earlier signs you write about seem.similar. I am considering having my mom evaluated. She is almost in need of ALF.

SD....thank you so much for sharing your story. I seem to almost be obsessed with wondering how much time is left before she forgets who people are...or becomes incoherent...etc,etc. I know there is no point to thinking about that but i cant seem to stop. She is my responsibility since my oldest sister passed and my other sister has had 2 strokes and has cancer. I know that it will be me to force her to leave her home.

Sheryl your Mom is unique try and live in the moment and not anticipate problems that may never arrive. Enjoy her as she is today and build memories on that. of course plan for the future and decide how you will handle all the "what ifs" maybe even write a list and explore the options if she enters a certain stage. you can visit ALs and NHs and make a calm assessment then file it away so you don't have to make difficult decisions in the heat of the moment. Find the cost of everything because this always comes down to money and see what Mom could afford. You can even write out a plan 'budget" for mom's future care and update it on a regular basis. By that I mean if you have chosen a particular
NH and it is beautiful and locally owned but suddenly becomes part of a national chain check it out again to make sure the previous standards are maintained. Take photographs and start a folder and unless there is a sudden change in Mom's health and needs don't worry about it for another six months. It is being faced with decisions in the heat of the moment and being pressured that leads to things you may later regret. make sure you know what mom's wishes are and what you personally can cope with. yes you may have to do the "dirty work" yourself but having the right "equipment" will make it so much easier.

Not one of will like to lose our independence! We don't want to be someone's burden, but we fail to realize that our loved ones gladly perform this duty for us, e.g. roles reverse!

It is not you who forced her to leave her home. It is the disease. Horrific disease.

Dementia patients think all kinds of things that are not true. The truth does not matter. YOU are responsible for making sure she is somewhere safe. Somewhere she can be fed, bathed, clothed, and interacted with. This may not be possible at home. Sometimes staying at home is worse for them than being in a nursing home or dementia care place. It is not easy to dementia-proof someone's home.

My mother is in a secure dementia unit now. She is immobile and has low scores on cognitive evaluations. According to her, sometimes she is age 3 and her grandfather is paying for her to be in "this great big house". Sometimes she is aware of the present time. Other times she sees dogs & cats running around that aren't there. The truth does not matter.

What matters is that she is calm, protected, and her finances are safely handled.

Have you ever tried to explain why a 2 yr old can't have or do something? right. that works out well. Basically the same thing. Stage 6 is beyond independent living.

At this point YOU need to take the lead and make the decisions. She cannot.

Each person is unique in the process of dementia. As the daughter of a mom with dementia and a Social Worker this has been an extremely difficult journey. So sad. There is no one recipe. For us, my mom still lives alone but has someone in to help from 9-5 daily. Weekends she is with me, she is a easy going woman but still this is very difficult. We are trying to preserve her independence and dignity.
The question I keep in mind is safety and quality of life. Last year she fell 2x's when a caregiver was with her. This year she had no falls at all and enjoys walking her dogs etc...
She baths, dresses etc.... all herself. She cries as it isn't as easy as it once way but when she is confused she knows to call me and talks about it. I don't want to go to 24/7 yet. It would destroy her emotionally and it becomes a question of quality of life. As of today her quality is good considering she has dementia.
I think people have to be careful not to box individuals with dementia into a category and put them away to be totally safe. Then medicated them etc.....
Nothing is every 100% safe. We do our best and take it one step, one day, one minute at a time.