This has been going on the last few times we have seen her. My mom with dementia has been in a memory care unit a few miles away from where we live for 6 months now. Prior to that she lived with us for 18 months. All she does when we visit is complain about everything and tell us how badly she is treated there (the facility is lovely, and the nurses are very pleasant, compassionate, and skilled). And then, out of the blue, she goes off on a tirade about how not to expect her to come to Thanksgiving OR Christmas this year and not to think we can make her. OKkkkkkk? She gets a bit weepy and juts her chin out as if to challenge us. This feel like her "martyr complex" rearing its ugly head (again) and is just a ploy for attention. I used to think she would be hurt if we did not have her join us, but now I'm wondering if she really and truly does not want to spend the holidays with all of the family (my husband, three grandsons with spouses and two young great-grandchildren). Has anyone else run into this? Very confused as to what to do.