Is there a known condition in someone with memory loss who's hard to reach with vital info due to excessive talking? On the worst days I can't get a word in edgewise with my 80 y/o mom, increasingly since about 2015. Dad died in 2014 but her traits were forming earlier.
On bad days it becomes a serious practical problem when I'm trying to help long distance with computer (screen-sharing) or getting her to send details to research appliance parts, etc. Even the simplest thing is an emotional ordeal for her on those days. Usually, on any day when I call, she immediately starts talking as if she made the call, forcing me to bring her attention to my reason for calling. In person, she'll keep talking for 5-10 minutes after I leave a room, seemingly not caring if it's heard or knowing where I am. That self-talking occurred as long ago as 2013 but her general inability to listen has worsened.
She also has manic/panic episodes when she needs the most help (usually out of tech frustration) but is the least reachable with logic. Sometimes she just hangs up the phone and accuses me of "hammering" her when I constantly have to raise my voice to get attention. Technical tasks are increasingly difficult due to memory loss, since learning means memorizing, not rote steps. I get a lot solved but I wish it didn't take so much effort. She's obsessed with (often cosmetic) yard & home projects on a good-sized property but won't lighten her load to reduce stress.
She has very little patience and won't even spend a minute learning how to do a PC step that keeps stymieing her (like finally learning when you need to right-click vs. left-click). It's not about lack of time since she'll watch political analysts or movies for hours. She's in a constant state of resistance to technology but expects me to have endless patience with the same issues. And she entirely forgets many notes & emails I've created to help her. They'll work for a week, then it's Groundhog Day again.
My sister (too far away to normally help) is in partial denial due to mom's "showtiming" when she does visit. She's also the type who's "too busy" to do anything that isn't planned out days in advance, and I suspect it's a ruse. She shares my mom's unwillingness to get to the point about what's really going on.
One of mom's late sisters was bipolar with crass talkativeness, and another sister (I've barely met) has something similar but mom won't admit to any of it in herself. She tends to treat everything as someone else's fault, but shows painful insight into her own frailties at times (usually w/panic attacks). You can't have sincere two-ways talks with her, even on up days.
I'm leaving out details but this may be enough to go on. Thanks for any medical insights.
Short term memory problems & tech do not work well together anyway. It may be less 'constant state of resistance to tech' and more *just can't*. Sadly, just can't can be a snowball: to include insight into situation, being able to plan or prioritise. Therefore something as big as downsizing will get an anger response instead to coverup.
I absolutely get it is hard to bring up sensitive issues (like the cog tests) but it can be a long road & it's good to know what you are dealing with.
Do both you & sister live far from Mum? Is there other family members close by?
I live about 1,000 miles closer and do the vast majority of helping, as stated. But it's only practical to get down there every 3rd month or so. More frequent help has been rejected for complex emotional reasons, even if it was easily doable.
A forum like this lacks the ability to know personality quirks (you'd need at least some audio) so I'm mainly seeking info on traits that may link with specific conditions.
Others more familiar with dementia will offer more support. I wish you well.
While there is no cure for memory loss or dementia there may be medication that could help with anxiety type symptoms or maybe even other causes?
Strategies for you may help? Try an Alzheimer's Association (they help more than just people with ALZ). Teepa Snow is an expert with website/you tubes with info & strategies.
Is Mum living alone?
She's taken no formal memory tests, though it would be easy to do the SAGE test at home and she's been told of it. Getting her to do tests formally wouldn't go over well at this point. It's certainly being given thought but I'm in no position to force it.
My main curiosity is whether excessive talking (aka garrulity) and lack of listening is a sign of something specific. I've Googled this a lot but maybe someone reading this has seen it personally and knows correlations.