Is Mom taking advantage of me waiting on her or is this her illness? - AgingCare.com

Is Mom taking advantage of me waiting on her or is this her illness?

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My mother in law is 62 years old with diabetes and epilepsy. I have lived with her for about 7 months now and I've noticed something I am wondering if others have noticed.

I prepare all of her meals because she says she is afraid to cook and use a knife because she doesn't know when she will have a seizure. At first I thought this was a legitimate fear however when I try to cut her food for her at dinner, the main time she has seizures, she gets very irritated with me and says she can cut her own food.

Also, I went to my sisters for a week and my husband cared for her and the house. When I got back she was doing the dishes saying she wanted to contribute to the house when before she said I was too particular about how I wanted the dishes done that is why she never did them. I never said that or said anything about her doing the dishes. The mor mobility for her the better. We are back to me doing the dishes.

There are times when all she needs to do is heat up leftovers in the microwave and she wants to do that, most of the time. I will come to check if she had lunch and here and there she will say, "not yet" and hour later she still hasn't eaten and when I ask her if she wants me to heat it for her she will say, "oh, you can if you want." Would she has eaten if I hadn't?

Though I have difficulty getting her to shower or wash her clothes, she wants the house to be clean at all times if I miss a dish or don't vacuum at the right time she gets upset. I found out while I was at my sisters she did these things.

I tried talking to her about it and her response was first anger and then, "oh, I did those things? I must have had a seizure. I forgot." When I ask H&R to continue doing the. She says, "oh, no you can do them."

Is she taking advantage of me waiting on her hand and foot or is this with her illness? I'm confused.......

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Who told you she did all these chores when you visited your sister? If it was your husband then I think he needs to have a heart to heart with his Mom.. He was there, so he can help her recall what she did do...
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I may have to do that thanks! :)
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I think she is "gaslighting" you. If your sister is telling the truth that she was able to do these things while you weren't there,I'd just tell her the next time she wanted something clean get it yourself.
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