Mom takes unnecessary risks and is making me crazy. Any advice?

Tinkster, I'm not trying to minimize the fall risk, but can a compromise be reached? Like using a walker?

Also, I like all of the suggestions here, but what if it is just being stubborn? I ask because my Dad did this after he got home from the hospital. He wasn't supposed to walk by himself and promised to wait or call, but never did. He would do as Tinkster's mother does, and wait until we went to get the mail, then get up a try to walk to the bathroom by himself. I think he truly didn't want to face the fact that he could not be an independent, self-propelled individual anymore.

If dementia isn't a factor, are there any suggestions for helping a person get to a place where they can acknowledge and cope with the fact that they shouldn't be walking around by themselves? How does one cope with a loss of independence?

So, I think GA has some really suggestions. But I think you also need to get a handle on her cognitive issues. As in, does she fully understand the consequences of her falling so frequently? That you won't be able to care for her at home?

My mom has some cognitive issues related to her MS, but apparently no dementia.

Well, its a lot more complicated than my simple post would indicate. Mom has had MS for over 50 years. She has great difficulty getting around. She is functionally blind in one eye and God only knows what her vision is in the other. She doesnt want to socialize at all or go mingle with others. She has always been this way.

Babalou and Windy, you're right. Since no mention was made of it in the original post or Tinkster's profile, I assumed this wasn't a factor. If it was, it would certainly change everything.

Yes, all good stuff, but does she have dementia? If so this has to be taken into account at all times and the necessary precautions and supervision must be provided.

My first post was 1/2 of a two-pronged approach. This is the other half, making the house safer. I've posted a list of several steps that can be taken to either prevent or minimize the risk of falling.

https://www.agingcare.com/questions/greatest-fear-right-now-is-husband-will-fall-again-187632.htm

I'm going to try to offer a different and third perspective here.

Your ideal is "sit and read, watch TV, look at magazines"... "scrapbooking, and so on." Do you realize how boring that can be? With the exception of scrapbooking, it's all passive, not active, activity.

I understand and agree with your concern about her mobility as well as concern for her safety. But I think she's probably bored and needs something to provide some exercise, both physical and mental.

For example:

1. Bring a chair over to the bookcase, let her sit and dust the books.

2. Do the dishes, put them on the table, let her sort them and hand to you to put away.

3. Ask her to help with the laundry by folding clothes. Don't refold them if she doesn't fold them according to your standards.

4. Think creatively - what household chores need to be done that she can do sitting down? How else can she participate and be a viable member of the household?

5. Give her the opportunity to get out of the house and be with other people. Consider taking her to a senior center for activities, to a free concert for music, to a library for a book club meeting. Check with the local libraries' online list of events and ask her if she's interested in any. Then take her.

6. You can buy little home use exercise bikes; they're really just pedals on a base, similar to those used in rehab facilities except cheaper and less complicated. Set one on a table, use screw or spring clamps to anchor it and let her exercise her arms. Set it on the floor and she can exercise her legs.

7. Find things for her to do that stimulate, not suppress, her intelligence. Magazines can help, but they're still passive activities. Or have a discussion after she reads one, again, to stimulate her mind.

8. If she likes board games, play them with her. Or puzzles. Both of them stimulate mental activity, the puzzles address spatial conceptions.

9. In the meantime, ask one of her physicians about PT for balance and strengthening, either through home care or at a PT facility, where she'll get a wider range of exercise and also have a chance to socialize.

Perhaps she's defying you because the world you've prescribed for her is too limited. Perhaps she's bored. I would be.

Does your mom have dementia? Has she been evaluated for dementia? That would be a pretty good answer for why she doesn't remember that she's not supposed to get up without assistance nearby.

What does she say when you ask her why she got up?

I think I'd get her into a geriatrics doctor soon.