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A little about me and my situation- I take care of my 83 year old grandma, legally I am adopted so she is my mom on all the paperwork, We live together. I do work, she is mentally as with it as I am. She broke her back a few years ago and physically went down hill. She is just starting to get her spunk back.. I am an only child biologically, as my mom only had me. But legally I have a sister my mom. My grandma also has one other grandchild my cousin. My grandma helped raise her, so we are more like sisters no problem at all with that relationship, she fills in as needed. I am going on a vacation in a week and my cousin, her four boys and husband will be taking turns staying here while I am gone. Now with my question my grandpa is deceased legally he was my dad so it is just my grandma and me. Her other child my moms brother passed away 5 years ago. This is my situation my mom is a horrible person she has tried to destroy me several times through lies. My grandma and I have not talked to her for 3 years and my grandma does not plan on ever talking to her. As of right now we do not have a POA in place ( stupid I know) we are going to a lawyer to get it done. Right now I pay the bills with grandma giving me money for her portion ( really it is only because it is easier for me to do it) she could do it if I was not around. She will make me POA, but I wont use it right now, only if something really bad happened. My question is my mom is a vindictive person, down the road, if my grandma became mentally out of it, could my mom come back and try to do something to me, for money my grandma uses now. Such as any house expenses grandma gives me a lump sum, I am afraid she will try something to try to get money out of grandma's estate. As you can guess she is not in the will just me, my cousin and her 4 boys and any children I have. she does not work and feels the world owes her. thank-you for reading my long essay,

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Follow above advice regarding attorney consult. Check this websites "legal advice" section and print off some of the information and take it to your elder law attorney to make sure you get what you need. While there you should get a DPOA to cover medical and financial decision making. Also get her will reviewed and updated. If she wants your mother excluded, make sure it is spelled out.

Keep good financial records and receipts for all money and property exchanging hands here. Attorney may help with that. If there are checking, savings, deeds, etc., your grandmother may want to add your name to those accounts and documents to protect them if she trusts you. Also get an advanced medical directive completed while you are at attorney.

Do this ASAP.
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I'm not an attorney, but my opinion is that if your grandmother is sound of mind she can name anyone she wants POA. It wouldn't hurt for you to keep records of the money she gives you and why, just for future issues. You should have this POA drawn up by an attorney who understands elder issues and ask him or her about any future problems. With this complicated family history, you'll want all safeguards put in place. Please do this as soon as you can get an appointment. You and your grandma will need to go together.
Good luck,
Carol
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