My Mom (85) suffers from general anxiety disorder, becoming more forgetful and more so when she is nervous. Any advice?

The only way to cope with this is to . . . keep answering the same question over and over and not let it get on your last nerve. Keep Frank Costanza in mind:

SERENITY NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

;)

You answer it kindly because you love her, and you realize that for her? It's the first time she asked. Then, after Serenity Now said silently in your head doesn't work, you STILL answer kindly and go have a glass of wine, carefully tucking in your angel wings before you sit down.

Your profile says nothing about dementia. Has your mom had an evaluation by a geriatric psychiatrist? Is her anxiety and possibly her depression being treated? I have no real answer for your question; my mom is in a NH precisely because we (her three kids and our spouses) know that we would not be able to give her care with dementia. Cancer, mobility problems, other physical issues, probably, but dementia was a game changer for us. Just not psychologically possible to deal with this day in and day out, work at our mentally challenging jobs and stay sane. And she would totally understand this position.

ba8alou, she has been evaluated and is medicated. Her anti-anxiety meds seem to effect her thinking abilities. It seems like a catch 22. I just wish that I could come up with some more patience. I guess maybe today was just a bad day. We'll try again tomorrow !!

Lindalouie, sorry for being so late answering. My mother also has GAD. She is much worse when her anxiety level is high, and worse when she takes Ativan. Her forgetfulness are particularly bad if she takes 1 mg Ativan, instead of 0.5 mg. She also tends to get more accusing when she has too much Ativan.

I read things on both anxiety and Ativan when it comes to short-term memory. Both are known to have effects, so it isn't your imagination. My mother is better on days when her anxiety is low and she forgets to take her Ativan. She is almost normal (for her). When she has anxiety during the daytime, 0.5 mg is the best dose for her. Any more than that makes her forgetful and sleepy.

That's so cute: "We'll try again tomorrow." Profound, really.

Just keep trying again tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow. She asks. You answer. Again and again and again. Remind yourself that you love her.

Also try distracting her to some other subject. Answer her question and then ask if she'd like some ginger ale. Does she want ice in it? Oh! You'll serve it in those nice new thermal glasses that will keep it cold. (Make a big deal over the new topic.) This does not, alas, always work. But it is always worth a try.