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I am her live in caregiver. She is very agressive and fights me physically and mentally alot since she had her stroke she is getting worse with her forgetfullness. I almost have no time to sit or much sleep she is having a hard time with sleeping at night and sleeps all day long she has stopped seeing her close friends all the way not socializing.

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Strokes can be a contributing factor. My Mom has had several TIAs and they told me that was partially the reason. Sad.
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I hope you have a medical power of attorney. Give her doctor a call and let her/him prescribe something for anxiety. You must keep yourself safe. Tell her you will not allow her to abuse you and then stick with a plan. Get sleep so you can deal with caregiving. Eat healthy food which is vital for brain function. Get respite care to watch her as you go do something you enjoy.
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You can't keep this up. It's time to step back and look at the big picture. Get help.
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Just wonder if she is on any kind of medication for vascular dementia? My understanding is the medication will slow the progression of the dementia which will progress with every stroke she may have in the future. My mother has had 3 strokes however she has been on a drug called namenda since the first stroke and honestly I believe she has not really gotten worse since she has had 2 more smaller strokes. You should consult with her neurologist about the proper medication. Also, the namenda may make her drowsy so I give mom her full dose at night to aid in her sleep rather than twice a day. I asked her neurologist if that was ok and he said it was fine. The aggressive behavior may be a side effect of the stroke and the pent up frustration.. I took my mother to a few stroke survivor support groups because I felt she could talk freely or at least listen to others venting about their frustration . It is a total change of life and loss of independence. You are not alone keep writing and looking for solutions . There are alot of caregiver books out there all saying that these behaviors and symptoms are common for the caregiver and the care receiver..
Grace
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How do get medicare to cover costs for a caregiver . Is it because of stroke? My husband has dementia.
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My mom is the same, stroke and dementia. I am her primary caregiver. I am having hospice help now. And a helper from another agency. But I only have two free hours a week. She is bed ridden so I know she can't fall when I'm out running errands. She has started to yell now, since she only talks gibberish. I feel like I am going crazy sometimes . I suggest you get helpers in. It's never enough help, but it's better then no help at all. Medicare covers the cost. Good luck. Feel free to get in touch since we are in the same boat.
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Adding an assenting voice to the others. Frankly, I'd recommend a thorough evaluation of ALL her meds and how they interact, and see if the medical team can recommend changes to the routine, including her diet. You'd be surprised at how much a difference a change in diet can make. And, don't be afraid of anti-depressants or anti-anxiety meds. Remember: with the stroke brain cells ~died~ and it often means that the body no longer produces the right 'stuff' to maintain self-control and/or emotions. The meds are simply a way to replace what the body can no longer produce. The real danger comes from a lack of understanding of all the meds and their side effects. Best wishes, and let us know how it goes.
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I would repeat what eyerishlass wrote. If this is a change in her personality, talking to the doctor is a good idea. Find out where the stroke occurred and what changes will result. There may be medicines that can help her feel better and not be so combative. She could also be depressed, which is very common after stroke and it is very common to prescribe anti-depressants after stroke.

Is she able to talk? Does she understand what is going on at all?
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It sounds like your mom was really affected by the stroke. Has anyone shared with you where the damage was and how it would most likely affect her?

Try to keep her up during the day so she's tired when it's bedtime at night.

If her combativeness began after the stroke talk to her Dr. and see if (s)he can prescribe something for her that will keep her calm without knocking her out. As much as you don't like her combative nature it doesn't feel good to her either.

As for her social life it may not be a priority to her anymore. How can she be in social situations if she physically lashes out? She may not be capable of being around friends anymore. Friendship is just one of the things that dementia destroys and it's such a shame. Do any of her friends come and see her?
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