Mom is stuck on the thought 'she's being evicted' when there is in fact no truth to that one bit. Any advice? - AgingCare.com

Mom is stuck on the thought 'she's being evicted' when there is in fact no truth to that one bit. Any advice?

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It's ALL she talks about. It's paid off, but now she won't even 'be quiet' (aka: shut up) long enough for me to even ask what other things she needs (like writing checks or getting her groceries - she says "there's no point since I'm being evicted.....then gets mad because I don't believe her and hangs up (eye roll goes here).

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Oh man, this sure sounds familiar. Mom is ALWAYS convinced that outside forces are conspiring to take her home away from her. And it's nothing new, either.
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My Mom is obsessive about everything, I also try to go along with it really is easier than fighting it. Nailing jello to the wall is understatement. I will say that being told I was trafficking children at midnight I did have to correct. Lol
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It is possible that she doesn't remember she has told you these things before. She may believe she is telling you these things for the first time.
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Good advice above. Often, some confusion, or dementia behaviors can be attributed to a brain injury, such as a stroke. The patient cannot find the right words, so they repeat another word. It is possible that she doesn't even mean "eviction".
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Do we think hearing the same crap day after day isn't maddening?

Cue: hollow laughter from 28,000 people (at a guess). Yes. It is maddening. No one will give you any arguments there.

What we're trying to explain is that there are specialist techniques for dealing with this kind of obsession that may be more effective than the ones you've tried so far. Give them a go.
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That's right. She may have been a pain to deal with for years, but if she has dementia, she is not operating with normal brain capacity. She has no control over this. It's not like it's directed at making you miserable. You can't take it personally.

I would read as much as possible about dementia and watch the link provided. The dementia patient is not being difficult on purpose. There brain is preventing them for behaving normally.

It could be that her problem is reversible, as mentioned upthread. Get her thyroid checked. I would explore that possibility, but keep in mind that it could be a symptom of an illness that you can't cure and one of the trademarks is difficult behavior. I would try to acclimate myself to getting on board with how to deal with her or make arrangements for someone else to step in. It sounds like you might be overly frustrated, which is understandable, but that isn't likely to work well in the long run.
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As others here said, and from my own experience, "Just go along with her ". Instead of trying to reason with her. It becomes a power struggle.
It's pointless to argue with someone who has diminished capacity. If you are someone who makes it a point never to lie (my affliction), you will have to suck it up, and tell fibs compassionately.
Bless all..
Lois
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Hooka, hyperthyroidism is a cause of a type of dementia called metabolic dementia. Unless it has been going on too long, dementia that happen due to metabolic reasons can be reversible. So... if the hyperthyroidism is causing this, then treating the cause may reverse the effects it is having on her brain. The sooner the better.

It is so hard dealing with the negative. I hear "no" so much around here that I wish they would strike the word from the vocabulary. One thing I've learned, though, is my mother may say no, no, no to me, but yes to someone else. Do you have a brother or uncle who could encourage her to follow-up on her treatment for hyperthyroidism? Sometimes women will listen to men when they won't listen to other women.
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Hooka, Google Teepa Snow and watch her videos. And next time mom calls about being evicted, say something like " wow, that's bad. You must be worried".
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Well, she WAS diagnosed with hyper-thyroidism months ago, but she became a stubborn child and did not ever go back to doctor for follow up after he gave her meds. She says NO to any and everything helpful. She even starts every sentence now with NO. She leaves messages all day on my phone like "How am I going to get water when I'm booted out" (evicted) "You know once I'm out that's it" I say "Well Mom why don't you go back to doctor and deal with the problem because it's your thinking and you're ignoring the fact the thyroid effects your thinking too" I get in return "NO, you aren't always right and it's too late - good bye" CLICK, HANGS UP again. All day this goes on...She's 78 and other then hyper-thyroid she has never been sick. I'm honestly so over hearing the eviction thing that I put her calls on silent and call her maybe at the end of the day - because the topic never changes. Been a broken record for months and then she'll say I'm a b*tch and must be in a bad mood, along with other insults that are unwarranted. You think hearing the same crap every day for months isn't maddening? Like Chinese water torture. Since I can't force her to get help....I just wait I guess.
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