My mom 89 with dementia was still living independently, but attending day care and it was getting difficult to maintain. We were on the cusp of arranging additional home services when she fell and broke her arm in January. After the hospital she went to rehab. In the midst of this I had to have immediate surgery and ended up in recovery , and was somewhat checked out when insurance ended her rehab coverage (a week earlier than expected). We were arranging moving her to a different nursing facility but ran into a quagmire of paperwork, and they would not take her. My days have been spent on phone calls and tracking down resources trying to manage this. She has community medicaid and because of extending her time at rehab it needed to be converted to skilled nursing medicaid. So now she is stuck at the rehab, it's been 6 weeks, and it seems that she is much more confused in some ways, but still fairly aware in others. They do not have a bed in the memory unit, but I also am not sure she needs that level of restriction. She is still very good with her ADL's and very aware that there is nothing physically wrong with her, tho is unaware of her mental deficiency. I found out last night that they put her on an anti-depressant at night, and that she tried to escape yesterday so they also put a bracelet on her. If I visit her she thinks she is leaving and gets very agitated, but if I don't visit, no one does, and I think this is making her worse. One of the assisted living places agreed to come interview her (she was accepted in the past but then declined to move in), but I just don't know what the best environment is for her, and the rehab only see her as an agitated resident, and that floor does not have the resources to keep her occupied. I have been told that no one will take her because now her skilled nursing medicaid is pending BUT I need to figure out what happens if she does get approved for the assisted living, we don't have the resources to cover the additional time she has spent at the rehab facility but everyone agrees that she should not go home and there is no way to know if daycare would work out again. My brother lives several hours away and has his hands full too, and tho we are working together, there is not a list of people to visit her. I have continued to pay the "friendly visitor" but she just broke her foot. I am supposed to go back to work on Monday and know I have a bunch of phone calls to make, but it is the visiting her that I am really avoiding and just don't feel up for it emotionally. They said she asks them to call me all day. I told them it was okay to call me, I never get an answer when I call her or the nurses station, (another issue). Prior to this in her current state of dementia, our relationship was limited to checking in during the week, taking her out for a few hours on the weekend, very functional. She has become very very repetitive since the hospitalization, same questions every minute, sometimes things stick. The social workers say that people in my position are trying to solve things due to guilt, but it is also trying to figure out what is best at this point. Of course all she says is that she wants to go home, and I know I should just buck up and deal, but I can't seem to work myself up to it.