My mom has history of drug and alcohol abuse. Grandma won't allow the assisted living employees take care of her drugs i.e. pick up scripts, administer, etc.. So my mom has to pick up her scripts and has been taking narcotics without grandmas knowledge.
I don't know where to start to stop the problem.. Do I call her Dr and inform of the problem so her assisted living will take control of drugs therefore removing mom from the equation and upset grandma due to the fact she thinks they'll steal them? Even though she doesn't notice mom is stealing them.
Thanks in advance,
Very concerned son-grandson

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My husband and I had that problem with my MIL and her daughter(his sister). We told the authorities that there was narcotic abuse history and they immediately changed policy with her to handle all meds. Maybe find a pharmacy that delivers to Assisted Living to keep your mom out of the loop. We learned that unless you get professionals involved to help you control meds, the patient suffers greatly. Trust the medical director or director of nursing. I am sorry you are in this predicament, family or not though...the truth is the truth and there is no gray area between right and wrong.
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How ironic!

There really are no good options for you, are there? I'm sorry you are in this spot. I think the lesser of the evils for you is to report what is going on to your GM's doctor. If drugs are being stolen from her then she is not taking the correct amount and her medical providers should know that. Perhaps it would be possible for just the controlled substances to be taken over by the AL staff. Perhaps you could convince your GM that the regulations are so tight on those that the staff would not be able to hide any theft, and it is the AL's responsibility to see that the drugs don't get into the hands of visitors or wandering residents.

If there aren't any narcotics involved, maybe Mom will not be interested in managing GM's medicines anymore. But one step at a time. Get GM's narcotics preserved for her use.

My heart goes out to your mother. She must have a very controlling addiction to resort to stealing drugs from her own mother. I hope that she'll reach a point where she will seek treatment and help to overcome her addictions.

But at this point I hope you can have the strength to protect your grandmother.
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