Lately my Mom (81) seems to be more sensitive to household noises and is constantly asking "what is that noise?" How do I calm her?

When my mom was 92 and recovering from a back injury, she was sensitive to noises, such as my activity in the kitchen while she was in her bedroom that is close to that area. If she was trying to rest, I explained that I will close the door to her room until I am done. I found out later, from age 92 to her death at age 95, that her mind was declining due to mini strokes and other health issues.

Sandwich gives such good advice! This may be an indication of brain changes that sometimes happen in older people; the brain processes sounds that used to be familiar as something else entirely. It may also be that the move has unmasked some previously well hidden deficits.

I always remember the day I was watching Jeopardy with my 90 year old grandma. She suddenly asked "why is there a bell ringing?" It seemed like she suddenly stopped integrating the bell into the game, which she'd been watching for years!

There are a multitude of possible reasons that can be causing an elder to startle easily. Medication often causes seniors to suffer from hypersentivity to touch and sound.
Reduced level of consciousness. Anxiety caused by change or the perception of unfamiliar surroundings (dementia).
Paranoia which is also common in seniors suffering from dementia.
How do you help a senior who startles easily?
Exposure to and explanations for common noises can sometimes help but as a senior with dementia becomes more and more preoccupied with their thoughts that information isn't retained.

Would it help to play soothing music like music from the 40's or gospel music on a cd player next to her chair? Also, try boiling some mint teas, etc. or diffuse calming essential oils. Does she like to watch old sitcoms like from the Burns and Allen era to keep her distracted? And getting the doctor onboard may provide other resources. Best wishes.

Why not keep music on in the ouse. My late father-in-law used to have a jazz station always on low, and it was great background noise, but not intrusive. Keep her calm and maybe less aware of the other household noises. She might not 'get' an explanation of why something doesn't have to bother her. Play Sinatra, or show tunes, or whatever she likes. People tune into what they like to hear.

I have noticed the same thing with my 86 year old mother. She has lived in her trailer for the past 16 years but just in the past 6 months she has started complaining that it is the noisiest place she has ever lived. It creaks and rattles, sounds like things are falling on the roof, etc. I don't hear anything out of the ordinary for a trailer. And what I do hear, I cannot imagine that she can actually hear, since she is nearly deaf. I wonder why all of a sudden these little noises seem to bother her so much?

I just reread your question. If your mom can understand, explain to her that everyone's (nervous system) interprets or processes incoming sounds, sights, smells, touch, etc. differently and that she may be more sensitive than some people. This may help her be less anxious and it helps her know that you understand her. I hope this helps.
I am a retired occupational therapist who used my extensive knowledge of sensory processing and sensory integration techniques and strategies to help children with these types of issues.

Freakedout, as a child I was also afraid of thunder storms until one day my Dad had me come to a window and he made a game out of the lightening and thunder. Like when there was a lightening flash, we slowly started to count 1001, 1002, 1003, etc and when we heard the thunder we stopped counting, like at 1004 and Dad said the storm was 4 miles away. Ever since then I was no longer afraid of thunder :)

Forewarning that an annoying sound is about to happen if possible as well as validating to the person that you understand that the noises truly are annoying, scary, etc. to them may help some. My daughter is hypersensitive to sudden unexpected sounds. She gets very fearful with even the anticipation of this such as knowing the dog may bark when the mail is delivered, seeing balloons is scary to her, fireworks, and thunder storms are all very anxiety provoking. My husband gives her a hard time for this even though I explain to him that this is very real and it is not something she can control. It is painful. So patience, avoidance, validation, sound masking, earphones, etc. (as recommended by others) are all good strategies. Some children who have sensory sensitivities such as this will make loud noises or sing or hum which many see as just being agitated but it also serves the purpose of blocking out sounds that are truly disturbing to them even if the sounds aren't noticed by anyone else (such as the sound of the furnace or someone walking down the hall or twigs of a tree hitting a window.) Patience and understanding...

I just think as we get older some things bother us more than they used to. Like getting off balance as we age, we all know that IF we fall, we could get hurt more easily than when we were younger.............

I have been afraid of loud noises all my life, it all stemmed from my childhood when the coal truck use to deliver coal down the shoot into the basement coal bin. Too bad my parents never took me outside to watch this [they probably didn't because I was pre-school age] it would have solved the problem, in my opinion.

Ever since then I can't be anywhere where there is really loud music or a lot of loud mechanical sounds going on. Whenever I visit my parents and their telephone rings [it's on high volume and has a tinny sound], I still jump out my skin :P

I have the same situation with Hubby. So, I tell him what made the noise & he seems ok then. They are usually noises he's heard "a hundred times in his life", but I still stay calm and tell him the situation. When the washer or dryer is running, I'll sometimes tell him right up front before he asks.

A friend that works 7pm to 7am got a little plug in "sound spa" for her day sleeping. My DH snores BIG. :-) She got me one as a gift too. I love it! Had it for years. It "plays" ocean waves rolling in, a stream, light rain, summer night, or just white noise like a fan would make. Can adjust volume, pick favorite sounds. I seem to kind of tune into the pleasant predictable noise it makes and focus less then on the secondary sounds. I've seen them for reasonable $ at Target Stores in the past.

Try to always keep music on at home and in the car. Hope you like oldies, I found that having a constant background noise helped plus who doesn't like music.

I agree, make sure mom has an assessment and let the physician know what is going on with her. You can also call your local chapter of the Alzheimer's Association, they will be able to give you information on behavioral interventions that will assist you in the understanding and care of your mom. Everyone with dementia may react differently to outside stimulus, sometimes it's trial and error as to a solution. You might want to consider an adult medical day care for your mom, it's a great place (in my experience) and it gives you a break, mom a chance to socialize and be active. You can go with her and tour the center so it won't be something scary for her.

Reminds me of when the fire alarm went off at my mother's nursing home. It scared all the residents. My Mom was terrified. It took a lot of soothing to calm everyone. Definitely go with the flow and acknowledge sounds that you may not here.

Changes in the brain can make sounds unbearable - ask anyone who gets migraines which are now categorized as neurological.

Ask her doctor about what is going on so if there is something that can be medically managed, he or she will look into it. For non-medical management, sound canceling earphones may help though you don't want to take away too much interaction with people while canceling out other sounds.

Not understanding what the sound means makes sense, too, so the suggestion that your mom be in the kitchen rather than another room when kitchen noise is unavoidable may help. Every noticed how the sound of someone else running a vacuum cleaner is annoying but when doing it yourself the sound is just - there?

There are so many ways to look at this. I'd start with the doctor but also try out the suggestions these smart community members have suggested. Please keep us posted on the situation. We'd love to hear how your mother is doing and your posts will help others.
Carol

With in house noises I would always tell my mom I was going in kitchen to empty dishwasher, cook dinner, run vacuum. Noises bothered her if she was not prepared but she could fall asleep while I was running the vacuum.

My husband has the same problem very sensitive to any noice .tv , voices, musick . Lawnmowers. Anything. We solved the problem by him wearing ear phones. It blocks out all the background noice that gets to him

Would it help if she was in the kitchen with you while you were cooking? She could see and hear at the same time and integrate the sounds of your home. Perhaps she could also help you with tasks and feel part of her new living space.

Get mom checked out by a qualified geriatric specialist and have a baseline cognitive evaluation test done. If there is something neurological going on, you want to catch it early and avoid surprises. Keep a journal about mom's behaviors so you can refer to it as change happens.

My mother was fixated on every little perceived noise. She couldn't hear me shouting into her ear, but supposedly heard all kinds of rattling, banging, and other racquet. I think it was just her brain misinterpreting other input as noise as part of her dementia. Noise that got her attention and was bothersome.

I stopped aggravating myself by explaining to her and just started giving her an answer she could live with. Even if I heard nothing.

And I got good at saying "sorry it's bothering you", even if I heard nothing.