How can I get mom to stop sending money to mail-in sweepstakes? She refuses to believe they are scams!

Sorry to hear about your mom's fall. So glad you were able to get her into assisted living. What did the postmaster tell you when you spoke with them? I really do think the way to address this (pun intended) is through the post office. They are supposedly a public agency, serving the public, not the almighty dollar. I researched this, and found out how easy it is to send bulk mail, and cheap too. Why are we allowing our post office to make money off of us, and our aging parents?

1nancy, that's exactly how it feels. They are like roaches. In my mother's case, she is a sucker for charities. I've had her mail forwarded to me for a year now, and even though I filled out every conceivable 'no junk mail' form, she still gets an average of six requests every day.
Getting her mail stopped her from writing all the checks, but these vultures call her, and she donates on her credit card. In the last few weeks, I've started calling all the shady ones and changing her contact info in the database, so if they call, they'll get me. I've also reduced the amount, and in some cases, cancelled regular donations altogether.
My mother does have causes, and for those that are legit, I'm keeping. But the shady ones? No way. It's a LOT of work, trying to stay one step ahead of someone with dementia, not to mention the scams.

I don't know if this will work, guess it depends on the dementia stage, one can Google "rating charitable organizations" to find out what charities are good, and what charities are feeding the lifestyle of the executives.

Maybe if Mom or Dad understood that their donation check is paying for that mega mansion and fancy cars of the executives, Mom or Dad won't donate to that group anymore.

I don't know if it helps, but my SIL would take the return envelope, write REMOVE ME across her address on the form, and send it back on their postage. Or write RETURN to SENDER on the unopened mail and drop it back in the box.
BTW, NO legit sweepstakes requires money or purchase up front.
Write your congressperson and ask that bulk mail from a non-US source be subject to a major fee for delivering to a US address.
I would try to intercept the outgoing mail and file it as evidence.
I have asked all the charitable solicitors that call me how much of what they collect goes to the actual charity. After awhile I stopped getting those calls. Some of the call center people were surprised when they asked their supervisors and found out that it is usually very small.

Using the tracking # US Postal Inspectors intercepted my MIL's package containing $4,000 in $50 bills! She fell for the "Grandma I'm in trouble, don't want anyone to know, lawyer only deals in cash scam". Family was all amazed and so appreciative, but she took it all in stride clearly not really understanding how lucky she was. Prior to this happening we had talked to her about scams, including this one, and even had posted a warning/reminder on her fridge. We are struggling with mounds of junk mail and her thinking she needs to "help" She "helps" by writing checks of $600 a month thinking she will save her social security, help feed children, and elect that person running for state senator (10 states away from hers) and so on. This doesn't include the magazine, auto help, id protection (Ha!), etc. charges on her Visa. Unfortunately, she just stopped driving so she is home more answering the phone and opening all her mail. Fortunately, she is not driving anymore after hitting the gas not brake pedal. She has a springing DPOA requiring her agreement or two physicians to sign off in order to for the designate to be able to handle her financial / health affairs. Really do not want to pursue conservatorship/guardianship, but I think that is what her sons will have to do. So thankful to have this site. My 90 year old mama lives with us and watches every penny she has.

Freqflyer, that's what I did -- I checked the ratings of the charities that my mother was donating to. Some surprised me, and were actually legit. If the amount wasn't exhorbitant, then I kept it as is.
Some charities she gives regular monthly credit card donations to, and they STILL call her, requesting a "one-time donation" -- which drives me crazy, because they know full well that she's not aware she's already donating monthly. She'll go ahead and make a rather hefty "one-time donation". ARGH. I've begun to call these charities too, legit or not, and am changing her phone number to mine in their database. And sometimes I'm stopping the regular donations, even if the charity is legit. They take advantage, they lose a donor.

I took over the mail for an elderly relative who was getting over 130 pieces a week. She has dementia and gave money to everyone. It was so over the top I started blogging about the mail, and how to stop it.
drowndinginmail.wordpress
The biggest things we did were changing her address to mine (I'm not in the same city) getting Power of Attorney to get her bank account under control and put a stop on the checks she sent out. I have been at it for 9 months and have got it down to about 20 pieces a week.

Thank you for doing this! I thought about doing the same thing with a blog. So glad you trailblazed! I have DPOA, and had all her mail forwarded to me, but she is in very early stages, and went to an attorney, and had him write a revoke letter to the post office. So now it's mostly going back to her, and she has already managed to begin sending checks (and money orders I'm sure) again. This is sheer insanity. People are so afraid of lawsuits, they will do anything an attorney says.

I started the blog because I went looking for information and found none. Massive amounts of mail should be on the symptom list for Alzheimer's/Dementia.

Sign her up for DMA Choice today. That will stop some of it. If you have a smart phone get the PaperKarma app. Every time you visit use the app and take photos of her mail. Or you could go full ninja, change her address again, and put harmless mail in her mailbox.

You can block her from using Western Union
drowndinginmail.wordpress014/09/25/drowning-in-junk-mail-how-to-block-a-loved-one-from-using-western-union/

There you go! Article from this website: Hopefully it will work!

https://www.agingcare.com/articles/stop-junk-mail-174488.htm?cpage=0&post=1&cm=425592&z=1#425592

I truly feel for you because I am dealing with the same situation with my great aunt who continuously writes to clairvoyants and psychics in foreign countries. She has cognitive issues and I experience "Groundhog Day" every time I visit. She must get a minimum of 5-10 scams a day and when I get to look through the mail, I can spend up to 2 hours just dealing with junk mail. She tells me I must read everything and gets upset when she sees me throw junk mail away. She must spend a minimum of $200 a year on postage to write these con artists!! I did get her to stop writing to most of them, but if they use any form of religious scamming in their letters, she is hooked! What I did was google these con artists and showed her the complaints against some of these con artists. That did send a message, but because of her cognitive issues, I must keep up with the research online to show her. It won't change much, and it can be quite exhausting, but keep at it. Research the scams and print it out so she can see she is wasting her money. Sometimes, we have to pick and choose our battles. Good luck.

Thank you for that ILD. I did some of that for a while too. Bringing my computer and showing her that there are complaints. But it truly is like groundhog day. She gets it one minute, but is telling me how she will prove me wrong the next. She has been sending anywhere between 20 and 50 bucks a day for a pretty long time now. At least I now have her SS check coming to a different account, and none of them can get to that. Picking your battles is definitely the name of this game. I received a response from the postal inspector today that basically pointed me to do not call lists, all the ones we all know about. None of them apply to the kinds of mail she is getting. European psychics and clairvoyants are exactly the issue. Some are from Canada. She also gets calls all day mostly from Jamaica. I've decided to leave things be for now. It's not worth the repeated aggravation. As long as I have saved her SS funds, and am able to pay her most important bills, I won't torture myself over it. She is in very early stages, and because of that is fighting me constantly when I attempt to help. So yeah ... done for now.

Yup, me too. Mom was sending out between $200-$500 every month to these political thieves posing as "do-gooders", telling mom in their very personal (and no doubt heavily researched) letters that social security will end tomorrow and it is "up to you and me" to put an end to it by donating as much as you can to the cause. So $20 goes out the door, they sell their "suckers" list to everybody and we get an avalanche of mail. Then mom sends all of them $20 or $50 - once she took out a cashier's check for $1,000 to give to this so-called "org" to impeach Obama. She thought she was being so smart with all of these "tax-deductible" donations... no, no, no - fine print "THESE ARE NOT TAX DEDUCTIBLE", Good news is, this was one of the many indications mother was having problems. I eventually got her checkbook away from her but it took another $2,000 to do so. I had no idea that within 2 or so months the "problem" would escalate into full-blown Alzheimer's. It was an indication though so think about getting Power of Attorney and get that checkbook into safe hands before she/he spends everything they have. Believe me, you're going to need every penny taking care of them.

Seriously. This is a problem that is pretty wide spread. I think there needs to be a law written that allows the post office to cut off SELECTED mail to someone who has been diagnosed with any sort of dementia. Sadly, it is another sign of the capitalist system creating devastation in all corners of our lives.

The DMA has something like that already. But it isn't very effective.
//www.ims-dm/cgi/dncc.php

Yes, thank you for sharing that. I believe others have shared it here before. But as you say, it's not very effective. When I asked the post office to help, they put me through a maze of bureaucracy, and in the end, because mom is in early enough stages that most see nothing wrong with her, a lawyer's letter scared them into letting her have all her mail again. No Durable power of attorney, or postal inspector complaints, would help.

Could you take a photo of her mail when you visit? If you have a smartphone you can download the PaperKarma app. All you have to do is take a photo of the return envelope. It won't stop everything but it can make a dent.

If you know the groups who she sends money to, call them to get her off their list. Find out who their direct marketing firm is and contact them too. There are ways to go around her with out her knowing.

darthjennni, thanks for the tip! I'll give the app a try...

Great tip. I did try to get her off the list of each of the places that had phone numbers. Most only have PO boxes. And a majority of the offending mail comes from Europe.

My mother has been doing this. She even tells me that God will punish me for not letting her give to questionable charities. She does send to the sweepstakes, but luckily does not put any money in the envelope
I started going on the BBB website and printing out the bad charities reports and letting her see them, and news stories online about the fake sweeps. I did convince her, I think.

This is the link to get her off their mailing list:directmail/directory/mail_preference/Default.aspx

I have been at this for almost a year, and I still don't know how to directly stop international scams. I have slowed it down, by getting her off as many mailing lists as possible.

If you want more charity reports go to Charity Navigator.charitynavigator.org/

ladeeM.... I tried this - multiple times. It doesn't work. Yes, they say they'll remove the name from the calling/mailing list - but they don't. The only way to fix his is to intercept the mail. I got a locking mailbox and while it's a hassle to go through the pile of mail everyday, at least mother doesn't get tempted. I also got POA over her health and financial decision making. It worked.

Soon, I believe there's some kind of legislation on this. Please check out this website.. If this site deletes the link below..Google..."consumer.etc.gov" then search "stopping unsolicited mail, phone and email". Hopefully it will work on some of the mail. If not, just keep doing it, just like they keep doing it.

http://www.consumer.ftc.gov/articles/0262-stopping-unsolicited-mail-phone-calls-and-email

Report it to "The Authorities"? Call the FBI &/or local police WITH MOM PRESENT to "ask about" (then report) the scammers. Have the police/FBI/Post Office ask about/write down all of the info from the mail "for their files" (if needed, maybe call the local police ahead of time so that they understand what you are trying to accomplish -- they don't like seeing seniors ripped off any more than you do). Phrases like "supporting illegal enterprises" might be introduced carefully, & maybe the two of you actively purchasing small numbers lotto tickets or other legal gambling activities might give the excitement of potentially winning millions (because after all, "someone has to win"!)

85 Y/O father has been traumatized by sudden death of my younger brother (aged 51) in 2015 so much so that he has been highly susceptible to Nigerian scams which in previous years, he owuld've laughed at. He has lost upwards of $30,000 and possibly more in this past year alone. I am the only child living and am aged 61. I don't know how to stop him from responding to these people---it is all done online.

MaryMarie, see the answer in your separate post. It'll get more attention than at the end of this older post.

I just wanted to mention that I have the same problem with my mother. She has always been unstable and now she is getting constant mailings from a religious organization. I'm not sure if it's a scam or not but my mother already gives to the local church and she can't afford to give as freely as she'd like to. They look like they want to get her on one of those continual giving campaigns. It's not that easy to get off those lists. I contacted one to tell them that she is sick and confused (which she is) and so they should stop mailing requests. They said they would take her off the list after a few more mailings. Last week, she got a huge package the biggest ever--which I'm sure they will say they can't control. They will try to hook them in before they get off the list by sending a few 'final mailings." When they suspect they have an easy mark they don't let go that easily. Be warned!

You probably can't stop them from sending solicitations but you can control mom's money. Control it so that she can't spend any without your okay.

OK folks here's the situation. My mom is 94 and lives in a retirement community across the country from me, but close to my brother. In the past few years she has been declining mentally.
She has very little money but she is spending enough of that little to get her overdrawn often.
This is what we have done so far:
--put my niece on her accounts as joint accounts
--moved most of the remaining money into a savings account she doesn't know about
--the staff where she lives is working hard to keep her from sending money off, including trying to intercept her in-coming and out-going mail, and keeping her from buying stamps. They are holding the mail for my brother
--my brother, my husband, and I all have POA
--my brother takes her shopping and keeps her credit card
--when he visits he regularly sweeps her house for mail & throws it out
--I've filed do not mail for caregivers and deceased people for both my mom & dad

But there are signs of addiction and we just don't know what to do. The staff at where she lives says she hangs out in the mail room, so they often can;t grab her mail. She watches for people she doesn't know to buy stamps from. She has stopped recording checks. Sometimes she sends cash to these people. She has also sent blank checks (w4e caught at least one of these).
When we have tried to intervene, she denies she sends any of this stuff out. Several staff people at her facility have told her these are scams and used some of the scare tactics mentioned her, but she says she can tell what's a scam.
Many of the suggestions you folks have made are great and I'll be trying them. But any other ideas? I hate feeling like she's become both paranoid and addictive.

Have her mail redirected to a PO box near you.

Close her checking account. Get hold of and shred the remaining checks.