Mom is bedridden after falling at home, refusing rehab therapy and subsequent UTI. So I have 2 aides for about 3 hrs each am & pm . Despite our best efforts, her skin is breaking. We have applied zinc oxide cream and try to move her position every 2-3 hours and also try to get her to sit in the wheelchair. The aides are experts in moving mom to wheelchair but she screams in terror and pain from muscle atrophy, I think. I am by her side when they move her and try to reassure her but in her dementia state, doesn't understand. She has no pain when she's just lying in bed & is content when we leave her alone. But when the aides try to adjust the hospital bed to fix her diaper, get her ready to eat, she screams and yells,
Should we stop moving her from bed to wheelchair then? The VNA home care nurse says now to do the minimum and just keep her comfortable. But I feel she's not able to eat properly if she's sideways, ie, the drink spills, the food falls on the bed. Once she grips the hospital bed rails on her side position, she just refuses to let go. It so made me sad to see her eating lying on her side.
Im now getting a hospice eval now but mom'e eating and drinking fairly well in her sideways position (when I hold the drink and balance the plate) and is cheerful as long as we don't touch her. So she will be on hospice for a loooong time, I guess.
The VNA nurse mom in her dementia state is not a good candidate for the Hoyer lift. I think even for a gait belt mom will be screaming.
Should we just let mom eat and drink in the sideways lying position and not get her to sit up ?
When they get to this stage, it's time for us to let go. Nothing will get better. Everything will get worse. I hope hospice will give you guidance as well.
I'm very sorry this is happening to you.
I would wait for the Hospice eval before I purchased anything. When Mom is admitted, Hospice will provide what is needed at no cost to you.
Yes, skin breaking down is serious. Aides are not Nurses. They learn from experience. Your Mom needs a woundcare Nurse to tell you how to care for those wounds. My daughter is a WC nurse and other Nurses came to her asking how to handle certain wounds. When she gets on Hospice they will tell you how to handle the wounds.
Once Mom is evaluated, the Nurse maybe able to give you a timeline. (IMO, Mom doesn't have much longer) You then contact ur brother with the info. If he does not want to fly over, thats on him. You take care of you and know that you have been a good daughter.
Yes, I guess I can sleep soundly at night knowing that I'm doing my best - with the help of all the Forum-ers here.
Ask the nurse if she can order a pressure air mattress to be put on top of the hospital bed. It inflates and deflates in different areas so a person's weight isn't just in one position 24/7. It helps to prevent pressure sores.
You should always be raising the bed for her to eat. Making a mess is the least of what to worry about. Eating and drinking laying down is a choking hazard. In fact, she should be sitting up all day in bed if it's possible. Raise it slowly. This may help to upset your mother less.
Thank you.
People here highly recommend getting an alternating pressure mattress topper to help with pressure ulcers. And if you don't already have it an adjustable hospital type bed would enable you to sit her up for meals and change her position throughout the day.
If it is too hard for you to hear her, go for a walk when the aides are transferring her. I have a hard time with the screaming and choose to be absent for anything that causes it, it's okay.
I feel throwing up when I think how badly mom has declined..I feel I cannot do this journey any more..
Get hospice to evaluate her and guide you on what to do.
Does she scream after she is settled into the chair? My granny did the screaming but, it stopped after she was settled. It can be unnerving but, sometimes you have to do whatever needs to be done.
Great big warm hug! This is so difficult but, you are doing great!