My mom is 57 years old and her colon burst last December, she went septic. She had a colostomy bag for 6 months. She has been on dialysis since January and has been in a nursing home. She will have to remain on dialysis for the rest of her life. She was starting to do better until she had her surgery to put her bowels back together a couple months ago. It's been downhill since then and the doctors can't figure out why, her labs are normal (for her). She wants to sleep 24/7, she is extremely difficult to wake up. She is completely incontinent now. She refuses dialysis or comes off her dialysis early almost every session. She has been in and out of the hospital 3 times just since her most recent surgery to reattach everything. I feel like she is spiraling and is miserable every single day, especially since Covid means I can barely visit her. Her nurses and doctors and I keep asking her if she wants to give up, each time she FIRMLY states she wants to live. She always has an excuse as to why she can't do this or that- she had to come off dialysis early yesterday because she was anxious (she is given xanax before every session in order to aid with this). Last week, she refused a session because she wanted to eat first (she took an hour to eat one cheese sandwich). She has been evaluated by psych and they say she is just depressed. She fully understands what happens when she misses dialysis, yet she still misses it and insists she wants to live. I am not sure what to do. POA would be a battle because she has clear days where she is fine! As of now, she is still her own POA. The nursing home staff says she is hospice appropriate, but she refuses to even talk to anyone with hospice. How in the world do I handle a situation like this???