My Mom has dementia and lives alone. She put my abusive father out years ago and owns the house now legally. She always blamed me for ruining her life by her getting pregnant with me and having to marry dad. My younger brother rarely visits her even though she loved him so much and spoiled him into adulthood. When my marriage broke up to a born again Christian (previously abusive) she sided with him and didn't speak to me for 8 years or visit me when I was seriously ill in hospital. She adored and spoiled my first daughter to the exclusion of all others, even my 2nd daughter. She told my eldest child not to obey or listen to me. This caused so much unhappiness and conflict in my home as a single working mum. She let her miss school behind my back (she was my paid child minder as I left early for work 25 miles away) and she had to collect them after school.Mum told both children that university education was my downfall! As a result, my daughter has emotional issues and cannot get a good job. She has had to resit all her exams as an adult unlike her sister at university. She also weighed them every week, resulting in them both having weight issues. She has done us so much harm and now needs help in her old age. My pampered brother doesn't bother much, nor does my eldest child she spoilt, and I am left to try and help her. The dementia has seemed to worsen the hate and bitterness that was always there about her life. She accuses dad of breaking in and stealing documents (I know he hasn't) and she barricades her doors.She accuses me of ringing her in the middle of the night telling her to "sign" her house over and her pension. She really believes this happened! Mum is still unbelievably independent and has to do things her way. In the early stages Drs, social worker and psychiatrist all tried to get her to give me Power of Attorney but she refused. Now it is too late as she has been certified with cognitive impairment. Her finances will eventually be controlled by the state and she will be put in a care home. That is the one thing she dreaded, yet because of her stubbornness that is going to happen in a few years. Meantime I am left to sort out her messes, lost pension card almost every week, walking away from the cashier without her change, lost keys (I am refused a spare key) lost bag, lost medications for psychosis and delaying impairment, telephone cut off, etc. The list is endless. I swing between feeling sorry for her as she looks so small and fragile now, or hating her because of what she has and does say, although I try not to show it. She has a cat and dog with whom she is totally obsessed, especially with feeding them. Her house stinks of cat/dog food gone bad and littered in dishes and floor throughout the house. when I clean up, the house gets back to the same state the very next day. Recently she has opened her door to me and made me stand in the hallway, saying she is on her way out. She wanders the streets with her dog for hours. She refuses lifts with me, won't come for dinner, has no friends who keep in touch any more and looks pitiful. I just don't know what to do any more and I know that I will torture myself when she's gone!