My Mom is obsessing over the non-exsistant affair that my 90 yr old Dad is having and is accusing me of being in cahoots with him. She asks me all the time if I introduced him to "the woman". Now she wants me to take her out of the NH to buy some beer. When I say that I can't do that, she angily asks why not. I tell her that the doctor has not said she can have beer. She says that the doctor has not told her that she can't have beer. My Mom was drinking a 6 pack every night prior to being in the NH. She calls me as late as 11:30 at night asking where my Dad is. I've tried to redirect her. I've tried to get her to talk about something else, but she says this is all she wants to talk about. I've tried to get her help with my jewelry making, but she can't do that either. It makes me sad to see so hurt over something that is not happening. I'm trying to get my Dad to write her some letters, even writing a sample for him, but he has dementia, too, and he doesn't even remember ever having the original affair which happened 65 yrs. ago. My Mom is so angry and hurt, I just wish I could do something, anything to help her. Has anyone else had experience with this kind of thing?

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Yep. Mom is fixated on this and there is no reasoning with her. It's part of the disease and frustrating for you. You've done all the right things. It's possible meds can be prescribed to reduce the delusions or anxiety. My mom sometimes gets fixated. I try redirecting which usually works for that instance but she still brings up over and over. I just steel myself for it and take a deep breath, listen to her but not commenting. As for the beer, stop answering phone after 6. If it's an emergency, the facility can fine you, but I don't take calls from my mom after 6. And when she insists on going out, just say, I'd love to tAke you mom, when you get the letter from the dr saying it's okay, we'll go shopping and get some"
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There are medications for this. Have you asked them to prescribe something for her delusions and anxiety?
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