My Mom keeps saying she must have been a bad person because she is in a nursing home. Any advice? - AgingCare.com

My Mom keeps saying she must have been a bad person because she is in a nursing home. Any advice?

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I think many people in traumatic situations wonder what they did to deserve it. The question "Why do bad things happen to good people?" is as old as mankind, and probably never has had a satisfactory answer.

It rains on the just and the unjust. Tornadoes and earthquakes happen to the compassionate and the selfish. Good people and bad people wind up unable to care for themselves. Nobody does something to "deserve" these difficult life events.

If you think it would help, you can assure your mother of these facts.

Has she seen the health care professional who is treating her depression lately? Perhaps an adjustment to the treatment is needed, such as adding talk therapy.
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Is you mom's depression being treated?
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I believe many of our elders have a wrong impression of all nursing homes. They probably remember some TV news reports from decades ago saying how one nursing home was problematic and assume that all nursing homes are the same. Or they had visited their own elders or older friends in a nursing home and that elder told them how horrible the place was when in fact it was probably the dementia talking.
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