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She has started soiling herself. I feel like she is testing me. She won't put on her Depends and home aide is threatening to quit.

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Why not have her checked medically. Bowel incontinence does occur with the progression of dementia. That is what is could be.

I will say that a couple of years before my loved one showed significant dementia, she went through a phase of soiling herself. She had hurt her foot, but she was not bed bound. I discussed the matter with the home health care providers and they said she was lazy. She had some other odd behavior too. We did not know she was in early dementia. I will always fill it was related to her subsequent dementia.

I'm no expert, but I know what happened with my cousin. She did stop soiling herself for 2 years though. Then the dementia hit hard. She still has not progressed to bowel incontinence though. So, I can't explain why she had the soiling two years ago. Maybe it was a stroke. It's difficult to say. What I would say is that it's not likely a willful act that she is doing to you. It's beyond that. Don't take it personally. Just get her help.
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Take her to the ER. I don't think she is testing anybody. They can check her temp, her dehydration and do some bloodwork. If you wait until Monday, she might not be here.
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Whose opinion is it that she's in the early stages of dementia? How long ago was she seen? If this is new behavior, it should be reported to the doctor. Is the aide familiar with dementia? Are you? There is a lot of information on this website that will give you some insight into the extent to which her brain is broken. No, she is not testing or manipulating you.
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I don't think your mom is testing you. That would require complex thought that she probably isn't capable of anymore. Perhaps her dementia isn't in the earliest stages because what you described sounds like someone in the later stages of dementia. No, I don't think this is normal behavior for someone with early dementia but I do think it's normal for someone with mid to late stage dementia.
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Captneamo, this would not be typical behavior for someone with early dementia, though it wouldn't be unusual for someone in a more advanced stage. I don't think that she is testing you. It sounds like she may be having some digestive problems that a doctor may be able to help with. Does she have diarrhea or are the stools firm? Do you think that she may be depressed because of her illness? Maybe it would help her to know that she has some good years ahead if you get to the doctor and get her on a good program. I wonder if it might help if she goes into a nursing facility for a while to help her learn to manage. I don't know what could be wrong, but I would seek medical help to try to find answers.
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