Mom refuses to wash. What do I do? - AgingCare.com

Mom refuses to wash. What do I do?

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Mother is 93. Only gets up from bed for a couple of hours a day. Constantly says she wants to die. Doctor says she is not depressed. She takes tranquilizers to which she is addicted. Now she refuses to wash or go to the Eye Clinic. She will probably loose the eyesight in one eye as a result. She says she showers when I am at work. I know that that is not true. What do I do?

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One thing that we found to work with my aunt whos very doddery on her feet and completely water phobic is the waterless, towel off products from Nilaqua they have a range of personal hygiene products that can be used anywhere and towel off rather than rinse. In my aunts case we tend to help her have a wash in her chair and use either the shampoo or a warmed up shampoo cap. its a lot less stress all round . Its so difficult when you are used to them being so proud of their apperance to see them any different isn't it xx
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Please have your mother diagnosed by a neurologist. I went through this with my mom, it is a normal stage of Alzheimers disease. They do not know that they haven't showered or changed their clothes for days because they forget. My mother stopped wanting to go out and be around people because they do not recognize their surroundings and it scares them. They need to stay in the same surroundings to feel safe. Check out the website: www.alz.org. It is extremely helpful and you can call the hotline 24 hours a day. Good luck to you. God Bless, it is not easy.
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Get her Dr. to order a bath aide. My dad didn't shower and he and I went around and around about this and finally I had his Dr. order a bath aide. She came several times when my dad decided that he could and would bathe on his own. And bath aides are great! They're in and out in in a half an hour and your mom will feel like a brand new woman after the shower.
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I don't know if this helps, but I have the same problem with my Dad. He used to be the same way with my Mom, but cooperate for me. Now however, Mom has been gone for 8 years and now he won't cooperate for me! I am realizing that he responds better if someone else manages whatever the issue is and I'm not around, just like he would do with my Mom. There may be more to what is going on with your Mom, but hopefully not. Good luck!
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I will add one thing , Medicare will pay for an aide, if her Dr. orders one.
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Her MD can order a bath aide, call him.
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I can't see on my phone if your mom has been diagnosed with dementia. Not bathing, stating thst you want to die, sleeping too much, ignoring a pressing health concern are all symptoms. Of something. If you've spoken to her doctor snd he's ignoring her symptoms, find another doctor, preferably a geriatric psychiatrist who will work with you to find out what's wrong. Hiring an outside bath aide with her money is a wonderful idea.
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What kind of doctor says she's not depressed?
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You need to hire an agency to come in for 3 hrs at least twice a week to help your Mother. Most times they respond to none family members better than family. I would get a neurologist to see your Mother. Also need to go outside the house once a day even for 10 minutes.
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My mother is 93 and the same way..a women who dressed to the nines every day and had more clothes Than most movie stars now has no issues being in the same clothes for 10 days and never bathing..I told her I would hire someone to give her a bath...who wants that..so it forces her to bathe now
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