Mom (88) refuses to use her cane or take the pain medicine. Any advice? - AgingCare.com

Mom (88) refuses to use her cane or take the pain medicine. Any advice?

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Her reason is that people will talk about her. She is all about appearances and believes people will talk about her behind her back if she is seen with a cane. She refuses to take pain medication because she has never been sick and takes pride in never having to take medication. She has fallen twice and is in constant pain, but we can't convince her to do even simple things because of her fear that "someone might find out". Please! Help!

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Veronica, had to chuckle about the eyelash fluttering LOL.

When I am in a grocery store, I always seem to time it when the independent/assistant living buses are in front of the store. Well, so much for finding another shopper taller than I am :P

Oh, I tried using a cane one time while taking my parents shopping.... they never noticed.... [sigh].
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Freflyer it actually does work as long as you have the nerve to try and a decent grabber. I would not do it with spaghetti sauce in aisle 5 but it is safe for cereal etc.
Not haveing eyelashes to flutter these days I just stand on my tip toes reaching up helplessly and another shopper quickly comes to my rescue. Lowes sells a really good strong grabber for about $20.

Back to PamelaB's original question. I wonder if taking a cane and using it one self would encourage the elder. "Her Mom hold my cane while I use the grabber to get the spaghetti sauce off the top shelf"
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Is the refusal to use cane and take meds really about vanity or indication of dementia. I used to wonder about odd opinions and thoughts with my cousin, then later it became obvious it was dementia. She would not allow her cat to go under the bed for fear it would get hurt. She taped the bottom of furniture to prevent the cat from getting inside.....even small openings that no cat could enter. I thought it was odd that I had to explain to her that an adult cat could not enter into a space the size of a pea.
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Veronica, be still my heart, is that the return of common courtesy I have waited so long for?
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Nope, top shelves are for your favorite box or jug of cat litter that weight 25 lbs :)

The manufacturer of items that are at eye level pay a *location premium* to have their products placed at eye level.... of course, if I go in the grocery store for my parents, the items Mom likes are usually on the top shelf where I can barely reach it, or on the bottom shelf where if it is a heavy can of peaches, I have trouble standing back up.... [sigh].
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Top shelf is for things that don't get used or don't break when they come down, like little spice jars, or plastic wrap or paper towels. Spaghetti sauce at eye level.
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Veronica, I wonder how the long handled grabby thing would work getting a bottle of spaghetti sauce from a top shelf.... I have visions of hearing "clean up in Aisle 5" :P
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CM yes partly true but also a bad case of O/A already had one hip and knee replaced.

freqflyer do you have one of those long handled grabby things to reach high shelves?

Lately I have found people have been extraordinarily nice to me. I get doors held open, things reached off high shelves, an offer to put my things on the belt at the check out and one man stopped in the car park and lifted my containers of kitty litter into the car. Unbelievable and I don't even have to flutter my eyelashes!!!!!!
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Countrymouse, I found when I went grocery shopping with Mom her cane was very useful getting cereal boxes off the top shelves.... don't know why stores think everyone is six foot tall :P
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Occupational hazard, Veronica? I'm not sure I know any really good nurses whose backs are in great shape… :/ Get yourself a lovely massage - that would be another good investment!

FF, I used to persuade my mother to carry her cane by reminding her that she could poke people with it if they annoyed her, tee-hee.
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