My mother is 75 years old and living alone at home. My father passed away 4 years ago and she's been on her own ever since. Here's a little background on her to give you some perspective; she moved to California from the east coast in the 60's and never looked back. Growing up she never spoke spoke of her childhood and my brother and I, to this day, know next to nothing about her childhood. Anytime we would ask she would quickly change the subject or tell us to drop it. She was like this with my father also. Everything else was normal and she is a great mother, but this subject was taboo.
She worked in a hospital as an RN and then in outpatient services for close to 50 years but never, and I mean NEVER, got any medical care for herself. Medical, dental, vision...anything. Complete neglect.
So here is the current situation. A couple years ago her knee started giving here problems and she began walking with a slight limp. Over the years this has degraded into near complete immobility. She can barely stand up from a chair, she can only bend over slightly to use the toilet - which makes a big mess, and she can't clean it up because she can't bend over - and the most concerning thing is that she has taken a few falls in the past year. Every time my brother or I try talking to her about it she gets angry and tells us to "drop it", or "I don't wan't to talk about it." The strange thing is that she is completely lucid in all other aspects of her life. She can drive, her finances are in good shape, etc...
Just a couple days ago she fell in the garage at my brothers and laid on the floor for 2 hours before she could get up. My sister in law was with here and wanted to call 911 but my mother would not let her - I know, she should have called anyway, but she didn't. Instead, she called a family friend that lives nearby for help, and even that took an act of God for my mom to allow.
It's clear that she is in total denial about her situation, and is probably afraid to seek medical attention. Not to mention whatever happened when she was young. My brother's family lives 1 1/2 hours away and I live 6 hours away so we can't always be there for her. I honestly think if she fell when no one was around she would rather die than call for help. My brother floated the idea that she misses our father so much that she just doesn't want to live anymore and is going to let this thing take it's natural course.
Has anyone dealt with this sort of situation? Any suggestions on how we should proceed? We are all at our wits end and scared to death that something very bad is going to happen very soon, and she has left us with zero options other than ignoring the situation, which we did for too long out of respect for her but is no longer an option. Any advice is much appreciated. Thank you.