Mom refuses to take her antidepressant, has major memory issues and is now extremely suspicious of everyone. Advice?

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She refuses to move to a home and is living in a 3 bedroom house alone and states she is not ready to move. She is 88 years of age and lost her 2nd husband 5 months ago. She is getting aggressive with all her siblings when offered assistance, never agrees with anything said to her, loses her belongings (purse, keys, papers, etc...) and accuses someone of stealing them. She is quite spunky but a small woman of 93 pounds and we all fear that she will fall or get hurt and no one will know unless someone goes to see her. (We all live in other cities leaving no one there with her). She is not friendly with the neighbors and has no friends that come to visit her. Resents the idea of someone coming in to assist her and will not go into a home. She is petrified to be alone at night and prays for her safety every night. Has stated that someone was standing at the bottom of her bed once and another time someone outside her window whistling. One sibling has been assigned to her financial records, etc. and was appointed executer for her affairs when the time comes, yet another sibling appears to be coaching Mom with bad thoughts about all of the other siblings (there are 6 children) and trying to get into her money already. Can we get someone to monitor her finances just as a C.Y.A. and so that if the "coach" should get her hands into Mom's affairs, it will be seen? So this is two pleas for help: getting Mom out of the house and financial monitoring!

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If the main sticking point to sister's plan is financial the POA might investigate putting mom's money in an investment that pays a certain amount each month but is sheltered from being drawn from beyond that. I put my own mom's $$ in an insurance company investment annuity, it pays us $xxx per month, earns interest and when she dies will go to her beneficiaries without needing probate.
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"The good daughter" is the 1st born daughter. Her husband passed a bought 8 years ago and she struggles while raising two grandchildren in her home. The grandkids mother is abroad working in Muslim schools and will return in the spring. She will also need some assistance upon returning and has already been moving in via phone on Mom. She has stated they could build a big house and all live together!!! Big concerns here.... Just want to be sure that if the "good daughter" convinces Mom to go with her, she will not be able to ruin things by using her funds up and then calling all the siblings to aide her as funds ran out! Mom has enough right now to manage financially as long as she is here with us....
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Is "the good daughter" the closest? I'm inclined to think you should step back and turn the care and worry over to her... make sure you nag her enough so she if fully aware of her new role as mom's point person and caregiver (lol)!
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Mom is 88 years and 93 pounds. Was checked with a CT scan of the brain and said it was normal by a neurologist! I sent a concerning letter as spokesman for all of my siblings to her doctor which she obtained a copy from the sibling trying to get into her finances, which I will refer to as "the good daughter" which only hurt her and made Mom suspicious of all of her children now. This unnecessary act on her part has made things near impossible for any of us to help her. She refuses now to even tour a facility as she was coached by the good daughter that we were trying to commit her! The sibling assisting Mom with finances is her POA and Healthcare POA also. We have not made any moves with the POA due to Mom's resistance and trust in all of her children. She is in the state of Texas so I wonder if I need assistance from Texas? She did have a personal health alert button that she ordered for herself but when it came, she did not remember doing so and sent it back. I feel most certain that she would not wear it as she refuses to wear her hearing aides because she is afraid she will lose one! More suggestions needed! Thanks!!!
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She may have had the beginning signs of dementia for quite some time but her husband was helping her compensate and the loss of his influence has allowed you all to notice more.
I have family members who react to stressful decisions by slamming on the brakes and refusing to even try, you may have to learn ways to come at the problem gently and obliquely. I would start by not talking about the need to move, but rather where she would like to go "when she is ready". You might even arrange to tour a few places, stay for a complimentary meal etc. No pressure, just planning and reassurance. She is still adjusting to the loss of her husband and grieving, the thought of leaving their shared home may be overwhelming to her.
Try to set up a daily phone call, just a wellness check. Either make a schedule with the family or have one person as the main contact. She may agree to a personal alarm button such as Lifeline... there are many others.
As for the finances... the person handling her affairs needs to take steps to protect her assets, it can be as simple as moving money into investments that are not so readily available and keeping account numbers and statements away from the others.
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Your mom could appoint someone Power of Attorney who could oversee her accounts. This could be a financial advisor or a family member or friend. Your mom should have a POA anyway at her age, someone to act on her behalf if she is incapacitated.

And while you're at it someone should be appointed in an Advanced Healthcare Directive. It's called other things but it's a person who makes medical decisions on behalf of your mom if she is unable to. This can be the same person who's the POA but it doesn't have to be.

Have you talked to your mom about a DNR (Do Not Resuscitate)? Has she signed one? What are her wishes? If your mom doesn't have one someone should at least be aware of what your mom wants at the end of her life.

As far as getting her into a nursing home are you close with any of your aunts or uncles? Can any of them talk to your mom about moving? Getting an elderly person to leave their home is very difficult and is a process. It's not going to be easy if it's possible at all. Sometimes people have to wait for an accident (like a fall) to get their loved one into a nursing home. It's unfortunate but once a person falls there are nurses and Dr.'s plus the family all telling the person that they aren't safe at home anymore and sometimes that kind of pressure is effective in getting someone like your mom placed in a nursing home.
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You need to have her evaluated for dementia ASAP, IMO she is exhibiting signs of paranoia, which is a characteristic sign of Alzheimer's in particular. I suggest a diagnosis from a memory clinic or neurologist. Also your mother is 93 years old, meaning she is among the "oldest old." As a whole, there is little known about caring for this age group. You might look for a geriatrician in her area. She could be suffering depression, given the recent loss of her husband.
I think it is time for you to step up to the plate and get advice from an elder care attorney, different from the one your siblings are using, especially if you are certain another is trying to get at her money.
Two suggestions. Install a remote monitoring system in her home. Then, you could monitor her actions all the time. You also would see who is coming into her home. If you can get online to see her accounts, then you can monitor them yourself. Try to consolidate her accounts into as few as possible. Perhaps your sibling who is handling her affairs will cooperate with you.
You could hire a local person to monitor her daily--just check-in for a short time to see if she is physically safe.
Do you have siblings who feel the same way you do? Then you might want to form a team or coalition to address your mother's problems. There is power in numbers.
Good luck. Do act while you have the chance. Your mother is very old, when compared to other elderly persons.
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