She refuses to have Home health aide. She says she washes with a washcloth but I've never seen evidence of that.

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Does your mother have dementia/Alzheimer's? Or is she just growing older and more tired?

Either way, it's normal for them not to want to shower.

Twice a week would be good....

For my grandmother, we tried to do it everyday to get her into a was rough at first...of course I had to shower her.....she couldn't do it alone, she could fall.

Other times, I let my grandmother just do a spit bath "as she would call it" (wash cloth) The most important things is to force them to wash their hands.

I had to go into the bathroom with Gram everytime and FORCE her to wash her hands...she would argue with me..she didn't want to wash her hands.....she would have never been like this before...but dementia changes a person.

I disinfected everything all day long...I was so worried my kids or I would catch something.

On the other hand, I wouldn't force the shower, more than twice a week, if the daily routine shower didn't become a norm to the loved one after a while.... But that's just my opinion.....
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Does she have a shower chair? Mom was more open to taking showers once we got one for her.

Also, if she is not yet wearing diapers, baby wipes instead of TP are recommended.
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